Choosing to Walk into the Danger Zone

Hurricane Gale destruction... Terrorist standoff... Avalanche and Flood aftermath... shocking School Shootings... horrific Fiery Infernos...

When everyone else is running the other way... the bravest of the brave choose to stand and face the nightmare and walk straight into the Danger Zone.

Firefighters and Danger.  We know a thing or two about these.  Our Number #1 son wears the gear proudly and has shared stories of fearsome fires that sorely tests the faith of this faint-hearted mother...

 

My heart spills with love and deep gratitude for the willing sacrifice that Travis and so many of these brave men and women make to protect us from the most grievous of dangers. 

 

And as our family gathered together this Easter past, a realization bloomed slow and sure as I watched our lovely daughter and her husband walk out the call God has placed on their lives... the Danger Zone is not reserved alone for the spectacularly dramatic explosions in our lives.   As Katie and Jordan sweetly tended to the needs of a child that is not their own... I saw a willing sacrifice to walk straight into the Danger Zone, wrecking the heart, quietly and completely, with a powerful love brave enough to face whatever nightmares might come ...

 

 

 

Katie and Jordan's Fostering Journey has been filled with moments of great hilarity, sincere gratitude and on-your-knees-pleading-for-strength to get through...  They could start their own blog if they had but time!  I have found great delight in watching  the children placed in their care bloom with life and trust and laughter and love... the brothers that arrived last November, burned and hurting, both physically and emotionally, have begun the healing process and were recently placed with a trusted family member...  in their wake a small, but feisty little 9-month old girl took up residence in their homes and hearts, her craving love and attention all but drowning out the missing of those precious boys....

 

... and so it goes in the fostering world, the loving and the leaving... a bittersweet parting that is the sacrifice Katie and Jordan have signed up for... the heartache of falling in love and letting go... to protect these little ones, it is a safe-keeping of the most fragile kind in a very real Danger Zone.

 

Danger Zones.  Be it a very physical wounding or a deeply carved emotional grieving ... I've learned that we are all stronger than we think we are. 

 

When mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, she fell head-first into the most dangerous of Danger Zones.  In the beginning she questioned her ability to walk the road laid out before her.   For her, the Danger was both physical and emotional.  There was fear.  There were so many tears.  There was pain.  There was sickness.  Her prayers were for the strength to maneuver the journey with Grace and Dignity.  God answered completely.  Mom learned to her own amazement that she was much, much stronger than she ever thought she was...  And she would tell you that you are too... Don't ever give up on living your life's story... you are so much stronger than you think you are... 

 

I've also been on the other side of the life-lens and felt the searing pain of watching my mom consumed by the nightmare of this terminal cancer.   Perhaps you are there right now... it is a special kind of agony caring for a loved one that cannot be healed... so many times I wanted to do nothing more than run as far from the pain and hopelessness as I could... it simply hurt too much....

 

And yet, I've learned that what applied to mom, applied equally to me... and to Dad... and our friends and family... we are so much stronger than we think we are.  When every instinct in us urged distance from the pain, a wall against the heartache... we were able to stand together, face the foe and run straight into the Danger Zone for mom... we were all so much stronger than we ever thought we were...

 

all because of Love. 

 

It is a sacrificial gift to stand in the gap for those we love... to wade into the muck and mayhem of cancer treatment... to clean up the vomit... wipe the brow... shoulder the despair when the crown of hair falls loose to the pillow... wipe the tears...  prepare the meals to tempt the listless... drive to appointments and wait endless hours in cold, sterile rooms so they won't have to wait alone... apply balm to throbbing mouth sores and lotion to swollen feet... to smile into the fear... to offer grace... to just be there...

 

Choosing to Walk Straight into the Danger Zone.  For Love.

 

This is what the bravest of the brave can do. 

 

"The Lord God is my Strength,

my personal bravery, and my invincible army;

He makes my feet like hinds' feet

and will make me to walk (not to stand still in terror, but to walk)

and make (spiritual) progress upon my high places

(of trouble, suffering or responsibility)!"

                                        ~ Habakkuk 3:18-19 (the Amplified Bible)

 

 

In Memory...We Run

Today was the Fireman's 5K Run in Ft. Worth, and Leroy and I were blessed to cheer on our favorite (and only) Fireman son!

Travis ran the race well, along with hundreds of dedicated and generous supporters.

The Fireman's 5K began in 1999 as a way to benefit the families of two firefighters who lost their lives while battling a church fire in Lake Worth, Texas.  It has since evolved into a fundraiser to support two very worthy organizations dedicated to grief support when families lose a loved one:  The Compassionate Friends and The WARM Place.

Travis ran to honor those men who gave their lives protecting others, as did his whole Engine Company. 

What an awesome group of young men!

And, of course, Travis' biggest supporters were there cheering him on all the way

You ran well, Travis! So very proud of you!

"Let us throw off everything that hinders...

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

                                           ~  Hebrews 12:1-2

Wild Weekend

It's been one of those days - all weekend long!  Busy, exhilirating, fun, and scary all wrapped up together.  I'm needing Monday just to catch my breath...

Let's start with last Thursday.  Chemo day for mom.

Here we are with Lance, one of our favorite chemo nurses.  And we're all smiles because Lance just gave mom her tumor marker results from last week.  Are you ready?!

174!!!

So exciting!  At the end of June, mom's tumor marker was sitting at 630.  Now it's 174.  This is a huge nosedive!  We're thrilled and thankful that the Gemzar is hitting the cancer so hard.  Makes the side-effects a little easier to bear.  We still have a ways to go, normal for the Ca19-9 tumor marker is 0-35.  But we're headed in the right direction.  Nothing better than that!

After chemo, we grabbed a bite at the Corner Bakery, stopped for some groceries, then got mom home and tucked in on the recliner with her foot propped up.  The left ankle is still swollen, and looked particularly moody (puffy, red and peeling) by the end of the afternoon.  The doctors are not alarmed, seem to still think it's just part and parcel with the cancer and chemo, but we keep it propped up whenever possible.  Does seem to help.

Once mom was settled in, I headed over to my brother's and picked up my niece, Sami, for the weekend.  Dean and Lisa were headed out of town and Sami was staying with us.  She's 12 years old, full of mischief, and cute as can be.

She loves the farm and was such a big help:

Here she is helping with chores.  She's so sassy!  Choretime with attitude.

Making her own jewelry.  So classy!

Beautiful!!

Then it was off to the Ft. Worth Museum of Science and Natural History to catch the Wild Oceans IMAX show!  Great way to beat the afternoon heat!

Back home to make some pizza!

Top Chef look out!

Yum!

Busy, fun weekend with Sami.  I think we were all exhausted by the time she headed home.  And she hadn't been gone long, when Leroy came running in the front door and hollered that the neighbor's field was on fire.

I don't think I can describe the sheer panic those words evoked.  As Leroy ran past me I could smell the acrid aroma of burnt grass and wood.  I raced outside and saw the billows of gray smoke rolling across our land and felt a blinding fear.  I could hear the sounds of fire engines and men's voices shouting, but could see little because of the smoke.

In minutes we grabbed what we could and packed the car, all the while just praying, "please, please..."

And God saw fit to answer that wordless prayer.  As we were preparing to drive out, the wind shifted and we could see that the fire fighters had contained the wildfire to just the other side of the road.  One spark, and our field would have been next.  As the sharp edge of panic lifted, I finally grabbed the camera and began shooting these pics:

Bless those firemen.  They worked fast and furiously.  Today we learned that the fire started at old Tom's place, just over the hill in the tree line.  Looks like his house is a total loss, but he made it out okay.  The fire got a good foothold in the dry tinder, and it took off with a vengeance.  All total, 10 structures (sheds, well houses, barns) were lost and probably between 30-40 acres.  Before it was all over, they had called in 20 fire departments from around the county, many of them volunteers.  We are so thankful for their dedication and quick response.  It could have been so much worse.  The winds were mild, but still we had ash and cinders floating down around our place for several hours.  

None of us slept too well last night....Kept checking the windows for smoke and flames.  I'm still jumpy today.  But all that remains is a blackened scar across the road and the faint smell of smoke when the wind shifts. 

What a weekend.  Think I need a vacation....