The Brute and the Beauty

It must have been some kind of ruckus...

And I slept straight thru it!  Who or Whatever trashed the feed room last night sure was riled up!

This is the sight that greeted me this morning when I got out to feed...

 

Feed room door cracked wide, Pitchfork wedged tight, and Hay bales tossed like toys.  Not even Emma-cat was sure about going in!  I have to admit I wasn't too sure myself . . . so, I grabbed the pitchfork from under the door and crept in over the hay.

 

Breath held, fork at the ready, I cautiously looked around.

 

Nothing moved.

 

I thought that was a good sign.  (ok, honest truth, knees wobbled with relief.)  I have no idea what I would have done if there had been a badger or a bear in there!  Because, in hind sight, it must have been something big to heave the hay bales up in front of the door.  Each bale weighs about 40-45 lbs.  Not an easy feat...unless you're a badger or a bear.

 

But something sure had a field day with the feed bin...

 

 

 

As a matter of fact, those look suspiciously like grubby, little raccoon paw prints all over the bin!  Ah-ha!  I do believe that Katie's friendly little coon came back for a visit.  And got mighty ticked off that the food was all locked up for the night!

 

And were the goats any help?

 

 

Hello?!  Not a peep from any of you?

You're just gonna let that masked raider mess with your feed and hay?

 

 

Kinda Mom.... He was scary and throwing hay bales around and all....

 

The Brute!  Happy Goat Herder to the rescue:

 

 

First we clean up the feed room and then...

 

 

 

One Live Animal Trap coming right up!

 

Of course, you never know how well that's going to work.  We've had mishaps in the past.  Ok, then, if you must know, I am not the best trapper in the west... But before I could even sneeze this time, thank you very much, Mr P came strutting over to check it out...

 

 

Seriously?  Like we don't feed you enough?

 

 

Seriously!

 

There is no telling what will greet me in the morning.  Is that the truth or what?

 

And just when I was grumbling about all the extra work, and just who has the time for setting up traps, and trying to find a bandage for my pinched finger (not the best trap setter-upper either), I walked past the big Photinia bush at the corner of the shed and stopped dead in my tracks:

 

 

 

He was as big as my hand.

Wings spread out to catch the warmth of sunshine.

  

My breath stilled into soundless wonder.

 

What Beauty so early this March spring, 

To arrive on the heels of the Brute's temper tantrum in the feed room.

 

My grumbling evaporated in the unexpected awe of the moment,

my heart slowing to the beat of his wings in symmetry,

gently gifting me with His artless Grace.

 

And that is the truth.  We each will meet the Brute and the Beauty as we go about our days.  Sometimes the Brute will make our lives difficult, miserable, and filled with fear.   It is his nature.  But never forget, Beauty is there just waiting.  Waiting for the moment we turn to see.  To be awed by the gift.  To still our hearts before His.  To be filled with a peace that routs fear.

 

No matter how the Brute has sought to ruin us, there will always be eternal power in the Beauty that ever seeks us out, offering His Love gift to each one of us.

 

Leaning into Beauty, Always,

                                                Jane 

Coons and Creeks

The Racoon Capture and Release Program is alive and well on our little farm!  This morning we tagged Coon #30 in the trap!

For those new to this blog, here's a quick review of how we got into the racoon business:

Earlier this spring an adorable mama fox had a litter of cubs in the meadow by our pond.

But then she got a little bolder and set up housekeeping at the edge of our backyard, and started drooling over our feathered friends, the peacocks and duck.

Unwilling to take the .22 to our visitor, we decided the more humane option was a live animal trap.  Great idea!  We have now caught...

The Duck

The Cat

And 30 Racoons!

But no Fox.

All in all it has been an entertaining venture...  We take the coons across the county and release them at the Deep Creek Bridge.  It is one of the only creeks (spring-fed) that is still running during this horrendous drought.  As I said, we are nothing if not humane!  Oh, and did I mention the red stripe we spray-paint down their backs?

We want to make sure we aren't re-trapping the same "family" over and over again!  But, they really, really don't like the fashion statement!    So grumpy...

The drive to Deep Creek Bridge is a pretty one.  With the radio up and the window down, I'm reminded why I love it here so much.

And while the creek isn't Deep, the drop from the bridge certainly is!

After releasing the latest coon and watching him/her waddle off into the brush, I wandered down to the creek bed and just sat awhile.

This spot is so off the beaten track that not a single car or truck passed that way while I soaked in the peace. The solitude was complete, with just the gurgling water and the trill of birds.  Not even a breeze to rustle the leaves, just quiet... A perfect place to think, or not think, maybe to just take some time to grapple with life's bombshells.  Like pancreatic cancer.

It is a hateful, insidious, relentless disease.  And I know it will eventually take mom away from us.   Each day is becoming more and more a struggle as she tries to maintain a foothold with her weight and strength.  And I see her slipping away... ounce by ounce, pound by pound.  Her once strong frame is becoming fragile, the bones pronounced in a way that reminds me of the most delicate fine china, breakable, but still heart-hauntingly beautiful.

The creek flows slowly past over pebbles and rocks, and I watch a small leave fall into the current.

It begins a journey that takes it farther and farther from sight, until finally it drifts around the corner. Tears track my cheeks as I wonder what it will be like the moment mom turns that corner and drifts from our sight.


I can only grapple.

And grieve for what's to come.

Outsmarted!

Raccoon Report: Zero, Nada, Zip!

Nice to find the trap empty for a change. Although "someone" or "something" cleaned up the treat offering very neatly. They actually pulled the bowl out of the trap and feasted on salmon-flavored catfood without setting off the trap-door.

Whatever it was has the trap figured out. Now, that's a scary thought! They're getting smart....Uh oh!

Tonight I have the bowl tied to the trap floor. We'll just see who's smarter now! Can't wait til morning....

I know that mom is rooting for me. She actually said she was glad I knew how to use the shotgun, just in case...

Just in case what? I trap another snake. Or maybe a bear? Under no circumstances should you surprise me late at night or early in the morning. I am finding lately that unexpected noises make me jumpy...

Well, for heaven's sake, the heat is just making me crazy. Nothing to fear out here in our tiny corner of paradise ;-)

Sorry you had to wade through all my ramblings to get down here to the important stuff!
 
Mom Update: Doing fairly well. Card party last night sounded like a great time, although by the end of the evening, both legs had swollen up past her knees. You guessed it, she's been in the recliner all day today with her feet propped up. Another concern is her low blood pressure. It's making her a little wobbly at times, and we've been watching it closely. On the up side, she's eating well and is pretty much over the flu-like gemzar reaction from this round. It's so nice to have a break from the chemo tomorrow! It will be another day of rest for her, and then it's off to lunch and the IMAX theater on Friday.

Looking forward to a great day on Friday. In the meantime, if no one hears from me in the morning, please send a search party. Something is lurking in the woods...I'm pretty sure it's just our cat,

but you never know.

My love to each, Jane

Another Round in the Bag

Raccoon #21 sauntered into the trap sometime early this morning!! Even I am astounded at the number of coons in our tiny corner of the world!

She got the requisite red stripe and a free trip to Deep Creek. She was not appreciative. Go figure!

Mom on the other hand is very grateful. Grateful for another finished round of chemo!

Dad took her in this past Thursday for the third and final infusion of Gemzar in this cycle. She's had a few off days, the normal chemo crummies, but is doing fairly well. Glad to have a chemo-free week coming up to rest and recharge. Although, I just spoke with her, and it sounds like the week is filling up with lots of activities:

Card Parties

Lunches

 and Scrabble games.

Consider that the recharging part! Nothing like having something fun to look forward to. She can rest in between all the entertainment!

One note of concern, her hemoglobin counts continue to drop, and have been in the low range for the past 2 months. Not sure when the doctors will consider a blood transfusion, but it's not out of the question. I think it has been interferring with her energy level, common problem with the low counts. So, there will be lots of nap/quiet times scheduled into the week too!

I think that's what siesta's are for! Especially in this heat! I vote we join mom for afternoon siesta's all week!

Autumn's vote is in!!  Sleeping like a baby....Nothing more precious.  Love you punkin!

Saying a prayer of thankfulness that the Gemzar is doing it's job, filled with gratitude for the upcoming week of rest, and delighting in the joys of grandparenting!

Grace Overflowing, Jane

Ruffled Feathers

Fox Update: As of this morning we have captured 16 raccoons and 1 duck. Not 1 fox.  Something's wrong with this picture!  This is what greeted me this morning.

Duck-Duck. Our less than happy muscovey duck. And boy were his feathers ruffled. Duck-Duck is older-than-time and equally as grumpy. He can't quack, but always tries. Sounds like a squeaky tea kettle hissing or a gas pipe leak, neither of which is pleasant. He waddles around the farmyard keeping everyone in line by either pecking them if they are in reach or taking a flying jump and flogging them with his wings (ask Kelli, she's had experience with this offensive tactic...).

Perhaps you can't tell from the picture, but Duck-Duck is giving me the evil eye. I debated taking him on a drive to Deep Creek, but then came to my senses.  He is a fixture on the farm. For all we know, he may the reason the fox keeps to the boundary line! It's not wise to cross Duck-Duck!

Update on Mom: Trip to Wendover last week was a wonderful mini-vacation. Yes, she got tired, and yes, her feet ballooned up like melons, but the diversion, the fun, the sightseeing, and the meals more than made up for those minor inconveniences.

They got home last Thursday and we made a run to the chemo lab on Friday. It was her week off from the Gemzar, but Dr. Davis had her slated for fluids, steriods and anti-nausea meds in the off week. While we were there the chemo nurse and the P.A. took another look at her swollen feet and ankles, and advised her to make a follow-up appointment with her family doctor. He was the one who saw her first for the swelling 2 weeks ago and put her on antibiotics. So, yesterday she went back to Dr. Maxwell and they x-rayed the foot, suspecting perhaps a stress fracture. Negative on that count, so now we've ruled out cellulitis, blood clots and broken bones. Hmm...Begininng to suspect that the Gemzar treatment is the culprit.

We'll be talking with Dr. Davis this Thursday when she goes in for her weekly appointment.

Until then, she's reclining like a queen with her feet up on pillows. I think maybe Dad is feeding her grapes and keeping her cool by fanning her. Oh, wait...that would be Dad with a glass of wine turning up the a/c because it's running all the time! Well, at least I know mom has her feet up.

Here's to finding our ankle bones, cool summer breezes and out-foxing foxes,

Love to each, Jane

Appetites and Peanut Butter

Weekend Report: Much Improved! Friday was rough, but by Saturday morning, she was already feeling better. Thank you prayer warriors for lifting her up. We are ever mindful of the unfathomable workings of a great God. His ways are not always our ways. Many times our prayers have been answered with a sorrowful No, and other times, a be patient and Wait. This time a ready Yes. And we are thankful, so thankful.
 
Mom was able to enjoy a lovely dinner with Steve, Dean, Lisa and Dustin on Saturday evening. Good food, good fun and good fellowship. Perks the spirit right up! And then Dad took her out for the Senior Special at IHOP yesterday! Gotta love Dad - always thinking of mom...and his pocketbook :)  The great thing was that the nausea was gone and her appetite was back!! Let's start packing on the pounds!

Still waiting on the blood work results, but mom did get the new medication for her appetite. It's called Megace. She started taking it Saturday afternoon. It's a liquid and, surprisingly, for an appetite stimulant, it is extremely foul-tasting. Go figure! But perhaps it's working. Mom will just have to hold her nose and chug it once a day. Will keep you updated on the progress. We anticipate that the chemo malaise will eventually catch up with her, but we'll take as many good days as we can!

And now for a quick Fox Update: She's still lurking at the edge of the backyard, in the safety of the shadowy forest. And I believe she's laughing at all the stupid coons that keep falling for the trap. A well-meaning friend suggested using Skippy Peanut Butter to tempt the fox, rather than the canned cat food.  And yes, Monsieur LeMoko, Skippy Peanut Butter has been a hit - with the coons!  I know it was supposed to be for the fox, but the raccoons don't seem to be able to read my instructions on the trap door. We've caught 4 since last week.

Each one gets the ceremonial trip to Deep Creek, but now I've added a spray-painted red stripe down their backs (they really love that!). Deep Creek is about 6 miles down the road, but I want to make sure I'm not catching the same coon over and over! They all look alike! (Just had to be said.)  So far, we've had a new member of the family in the trap each morning.  And it's quite the extended family.  Not sure the fox can beat them to the trap!

Sleep well, little fox. Your days are numbered.  In a nice way, of course. Love you all, Jane