We finish Bronnie Ware's story today with her last of the top 5 regrets that people make on their deathbed. It has been both emotionally exhausting and unexpectedly liberating for me to explore the topic of life regrets...
I think it would be amazing to live
a life free of regrets.... but I also know how complicated the living part of life gets.
At least my life. It's messy.
And I make mistakes.
Even when I don't want to. The
Apostle Paul must have felt the same way...
"I want to do what is right,
but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is
wrong, but I do it anyway." Romans 7:18-19 (The Message)
I'm guessing that Paul might have
had regrets too. It seems to be part and parcel of the human existence.
"I've tried everything and
nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything
for me?
The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He
acted to set things right in this life of contradictions." Romans 7:24-25 (The Message)
Praise God there is Hope. For when we get to the end of our rope, we touch the hem of His garment. Christ paved the way for redemption, from all our failings and weaknesses, and yes, from all our regrets.
Even the regrets we might have on our deathbeds:
And the final regret that Bronnie shares:
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life.
Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.
Choose happiness.
Ironically, right after I read this particular regret, my happy husband brought in the AARP magazine (don't judge, I'm a youthful 50-ish, no one needs to know!) which had just arrived in the mail. And in the magazine was a whole article on Michael J. Fox. Very, very interesting story about him, but what really jumped off the page was this quote...
"There's an idea I came across a few years ago that I love," he says. "My happiness grows in direct proportion (to) my acceptance and in inverse proportions to my expectations. That's the key for me. If I can accept the truth of 'This is what I'm facing - not what can I expect but what I am experiencing now' then I have all this freedom to do other things."
All the more profound when you realize that he has been struggling long with the daunting diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease. The emotional and physical toll that Parkinson's can have on a soul is enormously difficult, but Michael J. Fox's attitude is largely positive.
That could only come from acceptance. Which brings the ability to count your blessings.
And leads to happiness expressed.
It is not too late to choose happiness. Or to stay in touch with friends. Or find the courage to express your feelings. Or get off the work treadmill. Or to live a life true to yourself.... We may have regrets from our past, but we don't have to live there. Each day offers a new sunrise, a clean slate, a dew-washed pure to begin again...
And I am reminded so often of God's unfailing good promises to all who stumble and fall, living with regrets and lost opportunity. It is never hopeless:
"And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten." Joel 2:25
Choose today to live life with courage,
to trust in the Promise-Maker.
Life is the Gift.
In Love and Grace, Jane
