At Rest... At Last

At Rest...  At Last...

We'll love you forever and for always.

Laughter and Tears

Surrounded by family and friends.  The week has gone by in a blur.  Family has arrived from as far away as Wisconsin and Minnesota.  Laughter mingles with the tears as the memories flow freely.  How blessed to be loved and held close at times like these.

Crazy Perfect Blessing

What perfect timing a Sovereign God has.  Crazy Perfect!  Today He swung the pendulum from grief to joy in the span of 2 hours.

At 1pm this afternoon we arrived at the funeral home to begin the hard, hard task of planning mom's memorial service.  With much of the pre-arranging done ahead of time, the work wasn't hard, just emotional.  We had moments of tears, bought stock in kleenex, and agonized over mom's obituary.  Who knew it would be so hard?  The obituary was the one thing mom wouldn't pre-plan.  She said it wasn't right to memorialize yourself.  Very true, but my, oh, my, it would have been easier!   And like she knew we would need some help, she left an envelope in her "petty cash" drawer (she knew we'd be grabbing money for pizza deliveries!).  The envelope was marked "Interesting Obituaries."  It contained about 8 or 9 obituaries that she had cut from the newspaper over the past year.  Just like mom to help us out, even in death!

What follows are the thoughts and feelings from her family.  We loved her so, and hope somehow she will be honored by our memorial to her:

 

Susan Jane, 71, stepped out into eternity on Sunday, December 4, 2011.

She was born July 21, 1940, in Chicago, Illinois. She married David on March 14, 1960, and together they raised three children. Throughout their 51 years of marriage, one of Susan's favorite activities was traveling with her husband, always taking the time to visit and discover new places together. Nursing became one of Susan's passions, and for 30 years she excelled, gaining the respect of her peers and favor of her patients before retiring in 2006.

She was a beloved wife, loving mother, cherished sister, dear friend, and devoted "Bada" to her grandchildren. She will be missed beyond words by all who were blessed to know her.

She battled her illness with dignity and grace. Should friends desire, in lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network at www.pancan.org or The Caring Bridge Network at www.caringbridge.org.

Survivors: Many, many family and friends 

The family would like to express their heartfelt thanks to Susan's wonderful doctors, nurses and staff. Special thanks for the outstanding care given by Dr. Randall Davis and his caring staff at Texas Oncology.

Even though we are not ready to let her go, Susan's joyful spirit will remain in our hearts forever. She will be dearly missed.

Service: Pending


At approximately 3pm, 2 hours into our funeral planning, we received the joyful news that a new life had graced this world and joined our family!

Welcome Casey Marcus Reed!!!!!

 

Lifts our hearts to see the tiny fingers and toes, the sweet button nose!  Congratulations to my cousin, Adam and his wife.  Dad was so pleased.  He said that it only seemed right that when one life was taken from our circle that another should be added.

How refreshing that burst of joy felt, right down to our very souls.  God is good, and He reminds us constantly!

Walking in Grace, Lifted by Love, Jane

A New Journey Has Begun

This morning, early, before the sun even arose, still hidden behind sodden clouds, Mom slipped from the ties holding her to this earth, and began a trip of such splendor I can only imagine.

For Mom, a New Journey has Begun.

For those of us, here, standing at a place where the Journey without her yawns before us bleakly, the pain is visceral.  There is a desparate yearning for one more word, one more touch, one more glance from her sweet face... for us, the Journey of Grief has just Begun...

But how to hold on to the pain when we watched her relax in peace as the grip of cancer finally eased its vicious claws from her body?  I can't.  Tears fall as fast as the rain outside our windows, but I can't wish her back. There is only such blessed relief, deep and true as the heart tugs us to the promises that await.
 
"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?'" ~ John 11:25

Mom has only just begun to live. 

The Moments that Matter Most

"The things that matter most in our lives are not fantastic or grand. They are the moments when we touch one another, when we are there in the most attentive or caring way." ~Jack Kornfield

Today was the day mom transitioned from fighting the fight to embracing the life she has lived. She was transferred into hospice care late this morning and has been surrounded by family and friends almost continually. Under the gentle guidance of Season's Hospice, mom is laying her weariness down and reaping the rewards of love multiplied many times over.

The prayers you have whispered bind us tightly to the One who knows our suffering. For His gain will be our searing loss. Soon.

Throats ache and words tremble as we share our love with her. I am so very aware of the privilege we have been given. There will be no regrets. These are the moments that will silver into joy in days to come.

Breathing through the grief...

Crossing that Bridge

How many times in the last year have we said We'll cross that bridge when we get to it? I think we may finally be crossing it.
And it's turning out to be a little like a scary, rope bridge swaying precariously over a bottomless gorge.

We had our first consult with Season's Hospice this morning. Pam was sweet, gracious, kind and compassionate. We immediately felt at ease and some of the fear was replaced with a growing confidence that this is what mom has wanted. What she's planned for. Doesn't make it easy or less heart-breaking... Tears fell freely and often throughout the day.

Mom has drifted in and out of awareness for most of the day. She still recognizes each of us, but conversation is becoming more and more difficult. Her platelets continue to fall, and the doctor wanted to try one more unit of platelets to stabilize her.

Tomorrow morning we'll meet with her doctors and the hospice staff, and we will begin the journey to honor her wishes for a peaceful transition filled with all the love, grace, comfort and dignity we can manage.

Maybe that rope bridge is swinging over Paradise after all, and we've just been too afraid to open our eyes and soak in the beauty of all that awaits mom.

We will trust and see that He is good. Always.

Time Suspended

Good morning. Finally got a connection here at the hospital. And just realized it's December. Time feels suspended here in Room 609...

Mom is sleeping right now. For that I am thankful. Pain is minimal and nausea non-existent. Those are the Big Praises for today. In all other areas we are slipping. Blood work remains in critical range, and overnight her glucose (blood sugar) tanked. Kidney function is dropping as well.

I am without words to express my heart. Can only be grateful that God hears our deepest groanings.

Hanging onto Grace with all our might, Jane