It seems that Broken Hearts are a very real medical condition. And dad was just diagnosed with one...
No fairy tales or Hallmark movie directors here. Just a cardiologist and an angiogram and dad.
After his admission to the ICU last week for double pneumonia, blood work revealed some elevated heart enzymes... we learned that this could indicate a possible heart attack... our hearts raced just to think...
But dad didn't complain of chest pain we said...
It was then we learned of another very real medical condition... the silent heart attack, (that would be the kind with no chest pain)...
By this point, I might have been having a small heart attack. My chest hurt, and panic edged near the surface.
Dad was in the best place he could have been... they whisked him down to the CathLab and performed an angiogram under light sedation.
Within the hour we received the best news... No Blockages... No Heart Attack...
However, the sweet young tech said, the cardiologist wants to visit with you, here, in this little conference room, just wait for him to get down here, stay in this little room by yourselves, and don't worry...
Well, one minute turned into five, then five to ten...in this little room, by ourselves, waiting, not worrying...chest was hurting again...
Finally, the cardiologist arrived and got down to business.
He explained how the angiogram had been very successful... there were no blockages, no need for stents or balloon sinuplasty to open up vessels in the heart.
That's good... we say, Yes?
Well, yes, that is good... But... your father's heart has experienced an event that we call Stress Cardiomyopathy. His heart has been weakened and is only pumping at 50% efficiency...
That's not good. We didn't need the cardiologist to confirm this.
Then he told us that Stress Cardiomyopathy has been nicknamed the Broken Heart Syndrome because it so often occurs after the traumatic loss of a loved one and the subsequent grief that follows...
And my mind went right to our last visit with mom...
The missing is a living thing... the grief a real, live, heart breaking ache... not eased by time...
And, we all, as one, said, of course. The heart has hurt for too long...
Dad misses Mom with every breath he takes. The pneumonia perhaps a complication from the Broken Heart and the attending congestive heart failure.
Tears fell as we realized just how much Dad has been hurting and missing and grieving...
It has become all too real... and there's no happy ending in this Hallmark movie because there was no cure for mom's pancreatic cancer... no last minute silver bullet... no reprieve from certain death...
The final curtain closed as heaven called her home.
And his heart just broke.
And where do you go from here?
God prepared the road long before our feet took the first step... He, in infinite wisdom, provided the staff that would be ministering to dad (and to us) this very day... we have been roundly held with gentleness and compassion.
We have learned that Broken Hearts can mend. With time. And with love.
There is the promise of healing.
So we bundle him up in warming blankets as the pneumonia chills wrack his body and the weariness settles in...
and sit by his side as he sleeps...
Prayers beseeching a heavenly Father who knows the hurt of the Broken-Hearted.
Asking for a big dose of heart-mending hope this night,
to hold us thru the dark...
2 comments:
I can relate to what your DAD is going through Jane , my prayers from way up north will be with him, and all prayers are heard and answered .GOD's promise and he he kept his promise for me and for Cheryl. I promise I will send up a prayer each night for your DAD and your family.
Glenn
Oh Glenn, Thank you so much for your words of hope and encouragement. It means the world. I know how much your heart must be breaking over the missing of Cheryl. It is a real thing, this hurt. God knows. And His promises are true. He will keep us and hold us, together, always.
So grateful for your prayers. You are held close in ours. Hugs across the miles, Always, Jane
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