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Friday, January 1, 2016

When New Years Wishes are Conflicted...

This wasn't exactly how we planned to spend our New Year's Eve and Day...


Hospitals and pneumonia, breathing ragged and painful.

A Midnight run to the ER, hushed phone calls in the hall...
X-rays reveal what we already knew.
Doctors consult and begin admitting procedures
as Times Square excitement blares.

We had suits starched and shoes shined for another event entirely...

A New Year's Eve Celebration
months in the making!
A dress and 2 rings and a family circle growing deeper in love...

And at Poppy's insistence, the wedding festivities continued on,
a favored Grandson and his beautiful girl said their I Do's
as the clock heralded a New Year.


... and their happiness shone bright...


even as Poppy's breathing slowed and tears fell,


There was a keen sorrow at missing such joy.

And sometimes New Years Wishes are conflicted...
when we wish for Happy, but are faced with pain and hurt and uncertainty.

When our lives aren't going as planned,
and life is de-railed in the midst of the Hopeful expecting.

It's hard to find Happy and see a future of Good
when each breath is labored and the heart is aching.

And right in the middle of this emotional tangle,
an ambulance siren pierced the night,
bringing the victim of a tragic midnight shooting
to the hospital right where we sat.

A family's life was ripped in two as they arrived,
rushed and frantic,
to find their 20-year old daughter barely clinging to life.

We heard the sobs as a mother cried for her only child,
and the wails as this precious girl slipped away
despite all the heroic efforts to save her.

Our tears fell now for the ones who were suffering
an unimaginable grief this New Year's Day.

Our paltry sorrows paling in comparison.

And how do you find the Happy in this?

A New Year that is bleak and grim for a family who must now plan a funeral
instead of planning a life of dreams fulfilled...

There are no words for such grief.

Nor wishes for a Happy New Year.

And we realize anew that life is what we have right now.

For Poppy, it is here in this hospital room, and it is what we make of it.
To cherish time
and another year here, with us.

For Dustin and Blair, it is the moment they have right now,
in each other's arms, loves vows fresh,
their first dance together as Mr. and Mrs...


And somehow, we find the grace to hold on to the Hope,
trusting in the Good this year...

to know that the New Year may not be Happy,
but it can be filled with love, to walk us through the darkest valley.

For as the grief overwhelmed in the ICU ward this night,
as a mother held tightly to a daughter's still form,
friends and family were pouring into the hospital's waiting room and lobby...
more than this small hospital could hold, and yet they came and crowded in,
there to cry with a grieving mother, to walk with her, to be there and offer comfort
in the only way they knew how...

loving her through the grief
right into the new year...


Our wish this New Year would be for Grace
to hold us, right where we are,
whether there is Happy, or there is Sorrow.
May God's Sovereign Hand open to reveal
the Hope that is found, always, in Him...


"...all know and agree that God is sovereign,
that he holds all things in his hand..."
                                          ~ Job 12:10


in Grace He promises to never let us go...


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