A January We Did Not Expect!

 What a January!

We started off at a run and ended up in the hospital for a week!  Needless to say, this is a January for the books!

To be honest, we knew it was going to be a tough month.  The Farmer husband had finally decided to have both knees replaced... at once!  Not an easy feat, but if you know him, you know his discipline and motivation are strong.  His ortho agreed and so surgery was set... and it went fine... for 24 hours.

But somewhere in his body, the wiring went haywire and his electrolyte balances went nuts.  48 hours post-surgery his sodium had crashed and things happened fast. He was transported to a high level hospital in the metroplex where we remained for the next 4 days in the critical care unit.  

We learned a lot!  Low sodium levels can cause severe muscle weakness, heart arrhythmias and wacky altered mental status.  Like really wacky!  Bless his heart.  If it wasn't so scary, it would have been hilarious... like the star favorite at everyone's party!  In hindsight, I am so relieved to know he never lost his sense of humor even when things were bad.  (A Blessing I never knew I needed!)

Happy to report we are at home and starting for real on recuperation and physical therapy!

Ready to shuffle off into February!  May you be kind to us!

When New Years Wishes are Conflicted...

This wasn't exactly how we planned to spend our New Year's Eve and Day...

Hospitals and pneumonia, breathing ragged and painful.

A Midnight run to the ER, hushed phone calls in the hall...

X-rays reveal what we already knew.

Doctors consult and begin admitting procedures

as Times Square excitement blares.

We had suits starched and shoes shined for another event entirely...

A New Year's Eve Celebration

months in the making!

A dress and 2 rings and a family circle growing deeper in love...

And at Poppy's insistence, the wedding festivities continued on,

a favored Grandson and his beautiful girl said their I Do's

as the clock heralded a New Year.

... and their happiness shone bright...

even as Poppy's breathing slowed and tears fell,

There was a keen sorrow at missing such joy.

And sometimes New Years Wishes are conflicted...

when we wish for Happy, but are faced with pain and hurt and uncertainty.

When our lives aren't going as planned,

and life is de-railed in the midst of the Hopeful expecting.

It's hard to find Happy and see a future of Good

when each breath is labored and the heart is aching.

And right in the middle of this emotional tangle,

an ambulance siren pierced the night,

bringing the victim of a tragic midnight shooting

to the hospital right where we sat.

A family's life was ripped in two as they arrived,

rushed and frantic,

to find their 20-year old daughter barely clinging to life.

We heard the sobs as a mother cried for her only child,

and the wails as this precious girl slipped away

despite all the heroic efforts to save her.

Our tears fell now for the ones who were suffering

an unimaginable grief this New Year's Day.

Our paltry sorrows paling in comparison.

And how do you find the Happy in this?

A New Year that is bleak and grim for a family who must now plan a funeral

instead of planning a life of dreams fulfilled...

There are no words for such grief.

Nor wishes for a Happy New Year.

And we realize anew that life is what we have right now.

For Poppy, it is here in this hospital room, and it is what we make of it.

To cherish time

and another year here, with us.

For Dustin and Blair, it is the moment they have right now,

in each other's arms, loves vows fresh,

their first dance together as Mr. and Mrs...

And somehow, we find the grace to hold on to the Hope,

trusting in the Good this year...

to know that the New Year may not be Happy,

but it can be filled with love, to walk us through the darkest valley.

For as the grief overwhelmed in the ICU ward this night,

as a mother held tightly to a daughter's still form,

friends and family were pouring into the hospital's waiting room and lobby...

more than this small hospital could hold, and yet they came and crowded in,

there to cry with a grieving mother, to walk with her, to be there and offer comfort

in the only way they knew how...

loving her through the grief

right into the new year...

Our wish this New Year would be for Grace

to hold us, right where we are,

whether there is Happy, or there is Sorrow.

May God's Sovereign Hand open to reveal

the Hope that is found, always, in Him...

"...all know and agree that God is sovereign,

that he holds all things in his hand..."

                                          ~ Job 12:10

in Grace He promises to never let us go...

Git-R-Done

We are in the Wait and See mode right now.

I have LOTS of questions for the doctors. They have one answer for me. And I don't like it.

Are the antibiotics working? We'll just have to wait and see...

Did the blood transfusions help? We'll just have to wait and see...

How long before she gets some strength back? We'll just have to wait and see...

Maybe you've figured out, but I am not much of a Wait and See person. My motto is more "Git-R-Done." But maybe not quite so redneck :)

The good news is that the blood transfusion did help somewhat with the White Blood Cell Count. It is now a whopping 2! Normal is above 4.8, so we have a ways to go.  But while we weren't looking, the Platelets sunk to new lows. Down to 16. That's critically low as well. She received a platelet transfusion this evening.

Mom is also having some trouble (actually a lot of trouble) with her right hip. She fell against the coffee table last Saturday and bruised it. But the swelling, bruising and pain have been getting worse, so x-rays were ordered. Good news is that preliminary results do not indicate a break. However, that doesn't make the pain go away. She's getting kinda gimpy in addition to feeling crappy. Not the best combination.

Dad is staying with her tonight at the hospital. He found the stash of strawberry Blue Bell ice cream in the 6th floor kitchen, oh boy! Sometimes you just have to enjoy the little pleasures in life...
 
Praying that sleep brings restoring comfort to mom this night. And praying for wisdom for her doctors, as well as safety. If I hear we'll just have to wait and see one more time, mayhem may result...

Love you, Jane

Vacation Wanderings

Vacations are meant to be enjoyed.  But this one was tinged with worry as mom's health teetered on fragile.  The balance swayed from day to day, and more than once we were ready to turn around and head home.  Thankfully, both our vacation and mom's hospital stay were "successful" and they both ended with the sweet, satisfying drive home.

Our vacation took us through 5 states, multiple temperature changes and dozens of family hugs.  And it all began with Leroy's family reunion in central Illinois, over Labor Day weekend:

And, of course, the requisite picture of the youngest and oldest!  Grandma Jean and Baby Reagan:

And while we were visiting, laughing, munching and playing in Illinois, my brother was taking mom back to the hospital in Texas.  Her nausea and vomiting had reached epic proportions Saturday morning, culminating in a serious esophageal tear and copious amounts of projectile, bloody vomit.  The news had us packing.  But Dad wanted us to wait until the doctor had performed the EGD, and so we waited.  And worried.  And attempted to continue our visit.  So hard to do when your heart is sick with fear.  I think for the first time in my life I began to understand Christ's admonition, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28.  We were 900 miles away from home, all we could do was take our burden to Christ and rest in Him.  And He did give us rest.

We traveled upstate to my Aunt's place near the Chain O' Lakes in Wisconsin, and wandered in her beautiful woodland forest, praying, seeking and allowing the peace to settle over us:

We rested on ageless boulders of silvered granite trusting in His promises:

And drank in pleasure at the sight of His Handiwork in her overflowing gardens:

By Tuesday, mom was stabilizing, and we knew the worst was behind us.  As she sipped her clear, liquid hospital diet, we celebrated with a trip to the local Dairy Queen for Blizzards with Aunt Di:

And then spent a lazy afternoon on the lake with good friends:

A sweet ending to a stressful vacation.  When we arrived home, we found mom resting comfortably in her favorite chair, smiling,

She has never looked more beautiful to us!

May our vacation never be frought with such worry ever again!  This wanderer is extremely grateful to be home....