Well, if that doesn't just get all tangled up. Maybe I could just share from Bronnie Ware's article, Regret #2 of the the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed:
"I wish I didn't work so hard."
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle."
Regret #2 resonates for me... The American Dream is all about pursuing wealth, prosperity and success. And there is nothing innately wrong with any of these things. Unless they trap you in a vicious cycle of work, work and more work just to get ahead. When my money owns me instead of the other way around I know I'm in trouble.
And that's where we were about 17 years ago... living up to our necks in debt, in the middle of a bustling city that never slept, spending little time together as a family, running on a treadmill of work, commitments and fast food just to keep up...
And we wanted off.
I get this regret. Missing our children's youth. Missing our partner's companionship. And for what? A bigger house, a better office, a more exotic vacation...
At the end of our lives what will matter more? The days we spent at the office, or the time we spent with friends and family?
And so... 17 years ago, Leroy and I looked at each other, gave in to the Dare and put our house on the market. We didn't even have a real plan. More of a "if the house sells, we'll move to the country" kind of plan.
God made it so. 5 days after the house was listed, it sold...
And we moved an hour north of the metroplex to a sleepy little town of cowboys and rodeos, spectacular sunsets and endless nights of star-gazing. And also a smaller house, skunks and snakes, no mall and definitely no pizza delivery. The nearest neighbor was half a mile away.
We held our breath to see how our 12 year old son and 10 year old daughter would take the news...
Here are my dad, Katie and Travis exploring the creek and watering hole
the day we discovered our farm and made the decision to put down an offer.
.
The smiles and adventures were just beginning.
We found, much to our delight, that this move was the right one for all of us. No regrets.
Bronnie is right on two counts...
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. We down-sized our life-style, but magnified our heart-strength. There are few words to express the freedom that move gave us.
By creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle... We became goat-herders... who would ever have believed? Not our friends, nor our co-workers, nor even our vet. But the goat-herding brought a happy to our lives that bred contentment. And joy...
Pepaw (Leroy) and Autumn (first-born granddaughter)
doing chores (with Barbie in tow).
There are days I know it doesn't get much better.
And, of course, giving it all up to move to the sticks and become goat-herders is not for everyone! My mom never did quite get it ;-) But she loved us enough to let us pursue our path to happiness, and for us, this farm is that little piece of heaven.
Simplifying doesn't have to mean a radical upheaval. Bronnie's advice to have the courage to be true to yourself merges seamlessly with the desire to focus our priorities on quality time with our loved ones, even if that means letting work take a back-burner sometimes...
"Enjoy the little things
for one day you may look back
and realize they were
the Big Things."
~Robert Brault
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