What Evil Lurks Beneath...

Ok... This post actually began yesterday.  But...I was suitably traumatized and spent the night reliving the horrifying events rather than writing about them.  And then this morning, before I could let you all know what transpired... more traumatizing events occurred! 

Whatever made me write about Courage last weekend?!   I certainly did not intend on putting it to the test so soon!

I even documented the scary moments with my camera.   However, I must warn you that these pictures are not for the squeamish, or the fearful, or the nervous... to be honest they kind of make my stomach tumble.  And I was there, so I know about stomach tumbling. And sweaty palms. And racing hearts...

Well, for goodness sakes.  What could be so dreadful out here on the farm?

Let me tell you.  There is evil out there... just lurking beneath the peaceful green pastures...

 

 

 

Well, that's not exactly true... to be more exact, evil is lurking under the eaves of the well house.  And probably has been lurking there for quite some time.  And the only reason I noticed it yesterday was because I was a good gardner and decided to water my jungle of bushes by the well house (we are in another historic drought here in north Texas, must water everything, everyday...but that's another story for another day...)

 

And so I was blissfully watering away...

 

 

when I noticed with horror...

 

 

... a wasp nest loaded with a ka-zillion humming wasps!

 

I may have momentarily been frozen with fear...

 

 

... then recovered and run for cover (just sayin')

 

And as I contemplated the situation (from the comfort of the kitchen with a glass of chocolate milk and toasted bagel slathered in cream cheese), I realized that someone was going to have to do something.  Like remove the wasp nest from the vicinity of my happy farm...

 

It then occurred to me, as I slurped the last of the chocolate milk and pondered another bagel, that I was the only someone on the farm at the moment.  Handsome farmer husband was miles and miles away on a business trip (very poor timing on his part says the unhappy and now very nervous farmer wife...)

 

Thank Heavens for Black Flag!

 

 

If this was a movie, angels would be singing, fireworks would be exploding and the heroine would be smiling...

 

I don't think I was smiling.

 

But... Black Flag can indeed send a lethal stream of foam up to 29 feet.  I know because I practiced on a big oak tree in the back yard... I wanted to be very sure of my aim.  And I wanted to be 29 feet away from that nest.  Well, actually I wanted to be 29 miles away from the nest, but that wasn't a current option...

 

And so I headed back to the nest armed with only my Courage and a can of Black Flag...

 

 

 

And that's when I noticed the Black Widow Spider just feet from the wasp nest!  Not even kidding...

 

 

 

I actually noticed a multitude of things all at once... one being that I really needed to clean the well house eaves a little more often, another was the fact that this Big Mama Spider had an equally Big Bad Nest Sack under guard.  Hello?!  Does Black Flag kill spiders too?!

 

Gonna find out pretty quick...

 

Breathe in, Breathe out.  Steady, Aim and Fire....  I'm pretty sure I emptied the entire can of Black Flag on the well house in less than 15 seconds...

 

The wasps dropped like flies with a collective thud.  The Black Widow Spider not so much.

 

She appeared somewhat stunned and a lot disoriented but she hung on.  And being more brave than smart I decided to get a close-up of her next to a penny to show my family just how Big this spider was (they always think I exaggerate such stories...I don't understand...)

 

So I scooped her off the eave (with a broom that had a Long Handle) and dropped her onto her Glamour Shots Stage...

 

 

What a HUGE spider... Right?

 

But white paper wasn't her thing and all of a sudden she came to life and scurried off in a huff.  And of course I reacted instinctively and squashed her... but gently... but still pretty hard cuz it was with my boot and all... so, lesson learned.  Black Flag is really a great product, but don't trust it on spiders, especially Black Widows.  Squashing is best.

 

And for the squeamish, this next shot may make you wince, but here she is showing off the pretty red fiddle on her belly, with her legs kind of squashed, but still you can see the trademark Black Widow tattoo, which is kind of ironic, because how many spiders are going to roll over so you can identify them before you squash them? 

 

 

 

None, so there you go... all spiders get squashed here on the farm if they are in my line of sight.  Especially Black Widows...

 

Everyone warned.

 

I feel better... And exhausted.  This Courage thing is really hard on a Farmer Wife.

 

And I haven't even gotten to the horrors of this morning.  Perhaps a brief rest and the tale will resume tomorrow.  You must stay tuned for the continuing saga of What Evil Lurks Beneath...

 

Because if you think Wasps and Spiders are dreadfully alarming then I can't imagine how you will react to the terrors ahead...  Courage don't fail me now...