From Pain to Purpose

So... these last few weeks... disheartening, difficult and discouraging...

As Dad's health deteriorates, our life has become more complicated.  He has become more needy...and more demanding... we know he is struggling with the letting go of the life that has always been his.  Letting go of the independence, the abilities, the choices... Letting go of the person he still is deep, deep inside... None of that is easy. 

And so the neediness.  And the demands.  And the irritability.  And the depression.

I have struggled as well.  Trying to meet those demands, trying to ease the hurt.

And failing miserably many times.  Brothers, grandchildren... all have stepped in.  And yet, the stress seems to increase... for him... for me.

Today, as I drove to the store to fulfill another demand... (fresh corn on the cob and butter pecan ice cream... dinner plans change on a whim!), the radio played music to soothe my nerves.  And finally words penetrated the chaos that swirled in my head...

When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief.
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home

How many times can one heart break?
It was never supposed to be this way
Look in the mirror, but you find someone you never thought you'd be

In a moment, Matthew West captured the heart of our most recent days...

Oh, but I can still recognize
The one I love in your tear stained eyes
I know you might not see him now, so lift your eyes to me

When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home

It turned my thoughts to Jehovah, the One who cares infinitely more than I can ever imagine...

So hold on, it's not the end
No, this is where love's work begins
I'm making all things new
And I will make a miracle of you

I see my child, my beloved
The new creation you're becoming
You see the scars from when you fell
But I see the stories they will tell

Faithful God, He triumphs over the deepest despair.  I am reminded that God doesn't look upon troubles the same way we do... for dad... for me...

Where we see debilitating stress, He sees opportunity opening.

Where we see impossibly hard, He sees the growth beginning.

Where we see crisis, He sees a grace maturing.

Where we see piercing pain, He sees His powerful purpose...

You see worthless, I see priceless
You see pain, but I see a purpose
You see unworthy, undeserving

But I see you through eyes of mercy

Graced beyond words for His eyes of Mercy this day,

                                                         Always,
                                                                  Jane