A Diamond of a Dilemma...

It's beautiful.  Fire captured in finest prisms.  A precious gemstone born from the perfect storm of intense pressure and molten heat.  Delicate gold band.  Brilliant beauty that dazzles.  It is beautiful.

And it has been on my mom's slender finger for as long as I can remember...

It is mom's diamond ring.  A gift of love and devotion from Dad.  She has worn it thru these many years... Thru children growing, job transfer moving, and grandchildren loving, thru kidney stones, crazy work schedules and New Year's Eve lobster dinners.

Thru trials.

Thru joys.

The diamond never wavered nor slid from her hand.  A sign of their vows, of marriage's enduring bond.  A diamond whose beauty reflected the blessings of their love forged over moments and smiles, whispers and tears, coffee and kisses...

When pancreatic cancer entered mom's life, her diamond ring was the last thing on our minds.   However, as we poured over treatment plans, tumor marker results and stent replacement options, the pancreatic cancer was systematically gnawing away at mom's fragile reserves of healthy fat and muscle.

A day came when mom's ring simply slipped off her finger, she had lost too much weight.  She held dazzling beauty in the palm of her hand and had to make the decision...have the band sized smaller, or put it away in the jewelry box for safe keeping.

It stayed in the jewelry box, nestled in velvet, while mom valiantly fought a beast that would not relent.

Somewhere along the way, mom decided that she wanted each of her "girls" to have a part of her jewelry collection when she was gone.  And she knew exactly which pieces would go to each one...

She found tiny jewelry boxes for each of us.

 

And proceeded to fill them with treasured gems...

 

 

Dad handed out the precious boxes during that first Christmas without mom.

 

A gift given to each one...a daughter, a daughter-in-law, the grand-daughters and even the tiniest of great-grand-daughters.  Tears drenched our cheeks as Dad's voice cracked and grief rendered him speechless.  But the sweet, velvet jewelry boxes needed no explanations.  We each opened the soft lid to find a treasure placed there by mom's own hand.

 

To me, her oldest child and only daugher, she had left the diamond ring...

 

 

 

Such a small bit of metal and stone.  Who would think it could wreak such havoc with my emotions?  It sparkles, it captivates, it is perfect, and it reminds me so much of mom.

 

A part of me wanted to wear it close to my heart all the time, yet another part of me sorrowed to know she would never wear it again...

 

And there the dilemma was born.  What to do with mom's diamond ring?  How to honor her memory best?

 

It felt wrong to leave it tucked away in the jewelry box, as if trying to forget the promise it bears.  But I have my own diamond, that also bears a promise, of love sweet and new, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death us do part...

 

 

Here we are...College sweethearts and so in love.

And so poor!

 

Our diamond is but a token, as tiny as the proverbial mustard seed,

but it is precious to me.

 

 

Mom's ring and mine.

 

Over the weeks and months of this past year, as the heart has begun to heal the tearing loss, an idea began to form.  The thought teeter-tottered back and forth, and finally came together in the most beautiful of ways...

 

With Leroy's blessing, I had the jeweler switch the diamonds on the bands.  My wedding band set now bears mom's diamond, and her simple gold band bears mine.

 

I have found great delight in knowing I carry a little of mom and dad's love with me everyday, merged seamlessly into my cherished wedding band.

 

 

 

And the best part?

 

My diminutive diamond on mom's delicate gold band is a keepsake perfect for our firstborn grand-daughter, our sweet and ever-loved Autumn girl...

 

 

2 rings...

Both sparkling with Love

for the Family they hold close.

 

 

I can feel Mom's Smile from Heaven...

 

 

A Gift of Grace for the New Year begun.

 

 

If dilemmas dog your way and cloud your vision

as we enter this swept-clean month of beginnings,

I pray that with each step,

your heart becomes more sure,

and your path gentles and clears

as you rest in the Giver of All Things New.

 

 

 

          Always in Grace,

                              Jane