Why do you get married?

62 years...

...Married!!!

How do you make it work?  Some would ask Why do you make it work???

My beautiful parents-in-law, 62 years ago.

Time and marriage have a way of adding a few things...

Children and Growing Up

Daughter-in-laws and Opening Arms

Grandchildren and Laughter

Wrinkles out of nowhere

Pounds around the middle

Gray Hair on top

and No Hair for Pop :)

Love Multiplied

Heartaches Unavoidable...

And through it all, one thing remains constant.

The Two Shall be One...

Here on their 50th Wedding Anniversary,

and then Today, still together, going on 62 years Together!

Their marriage has survived miscarriage, military separations, moves, the death of a son, and now the advent of illness and the frailty of aging years...

The constancy of their marriage is like a welcoming light in the window beckoning you home.

It is a journey of faith and commitment and love.

From the first blush of young love to the cherished patina from decades of lived-out love ...

"We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people

on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean?

But in marriage, you're promising to care about everything.

The good things, the bad things, the terrible things,

the mundane things...all of it, all of the time, every day.

You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because

I will notice it.  Your life will not go un-witnessed

because I will be your witness'."

                       ~ Beverly Clark, Shall We Dance, 2004

For me, that is Legacy Living at it's finest.  To honor another with your heart, your words, your time, and your faithfulness.  It is leaving a Legacy that will outlast your life.  Their example has left indelible impressions upon each one of us as we too are witness to the enduring commitment of vows spoken some 62 years ago...

For Better, For Worse

In Sickness, In Health...

Marriage isn't for the faint of heart.  The commitment part takes discipline and time.  For isn't Perseverance simply a long obedience in the same direction?

The power of such a covenant is profound, and we are the joyful recipients of these sacred vows.  How blessed we are to be raised up and sheltered under the circle of their love...

Love you always Grandpa Don and Grandma Millie... This Daughter-in-law can't begin to express her love and gratitude for you both... How did I ever get so lucky?!

Graced Forever to be Grafted into your Story,  Always Yours, Jane 

A Diamond of a Dilemma...

It's beautiful.  Fire captured in finest prisms.  A precious gemstone born from the perfect storm of intense pressure and molten heat.  Delicate gold band.  Brilliant beauty that dazzles.  It is beautiful.

And it has been on my mom's slender finger for as long as I can remember...

It is mom's diamond ring.  A gift of love and devotion from Dad.  She has worn it thru these many years... Thru children growing, job transfer moving, and grandchildren loving, thru kidney stones, crazy work schedules and New Year's Eve lobster dinners.

Thru trials.

Thru joys.

The diamond never wavered nor slid from her hand.  A sign of their vows, of marriage's enduring bond.  A diamond whose beauty reflected the blessings of their love forged over moments and smiles, whispers and tears, coffee and kisses...

When pancreatic cancer entered mom's life, her diamond ring was the last thing on our minds.   However, as we poured over treatment plans, tumor marker results and stent replacement options, the pancreatic cancer was systematically gnawing away at mom's fragile reserves of healthy fat and muscle.

A day came when mom's ring simply slipped off her finger, she had lost too much weight.  She held dazzling beauty in the palm of her hand and had to make the decision...have the band sized smaller, or put it away in the jewelry box for safe keeping.

It stayed in the jewelry box, nestled in velvet, while mom valiantly fought a beast that would not relent.

Somewhere along the way, mom decided that she wanted each of her "girls" to have a part of her jewelry collection when she was gone.  And she knew exactly which pieces would go to each one...

She found tiny jewelry boxes for each of us.

 

And proceeded to fill them with treasured gems...

 

 

Dad handed out the precious boxes during that first Christmas without mom.

 

A gift given to each one...a daughter, a daughter-in-law, the grand-daughters and even the tiniest of great-grand-daughters.  Tears drenched our cheeks as Dad's voice cracked and grief rendered him speechless.  But the sweet, velvet jewelry boxes needed no explanations.  We each opened the soft lid to find a treasure placed there by mom's own hand.

 

To me, her oldest child and only daugher, she had left the diamond ring...

 

 

 

Such a small bit of metal and stone.  Who would think it could wreak such havoc with my emotions?  It sparkles, it captivates, it is perfect, and it reminds me so much of mom.

 

A part of me wanted to wear it close to my heart all the time, yet another part of me sorrowed to know she would never wear it again...

 

And there the dilemma was born.  What to do with mom's diamond ring?  How to honor her memory best?

 

It felt wrong to leave it tucked away in the jewelry box, as if trying to forget the promise it bears.  But I have my own diamond, that also bears a promise, of love sweet and new, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death us do part...

 

 

Here we are...College sweethearts and so in love.

And so poor!

 

Our diamond is but a token, as tiny as the proverbial mustard seed,

but it is precious to me.

 

 

Mom's ring and mine.

 

Over the weeks and months of this past year, as the heart has begun to heal the tearing loss, an idea began to form.  The thought teeter-tottered back and forth, and finally came together in the most beautiful of ways...

 

With Leroy's blessing, I had the jeweler switch the diamonds on the bands.  My wedding band set now bears mom's diamond, and her simple gold band bears mine.

 

I have found great delight in knowing I carry a little of mom and dad's love with me everyday, merged seamlessly into my cherished wedding band.

 

 

 

And the best part?

 

My diminutive diamond on mom's delicate gold band is a keepsake perfect for our firstborn grand-daughter, our sweet and ever-loved Autumn girl...

 

 

2 rings...

Both sparkling with Love

for the Family they hold close.

 

 

I can feel Mom's Smile from Heaven...

 

 

A Gift of Grace for the New Year begun.

 

 

If dilemmas dog your way and cloud your vision

as we enter this swept-clean month of beginnings,

I pray that with each step,

your heart becomes more sure,

and your path gentles and clears

as you rest in the Giver of All Things New.

 

 

 

          Always in Grace,

                              Jane