The Remembering...

7 years...

Can it really be?

Today, an anniversary of sorts,

remembering the day we said our last goodbyes...

Not a happy kind of anniversary {sigh}

So much missing these past 7 years.

Her voice, her laugh, her love...

These anniversary kind of days bring the focus to bear on all we've lost.

And maybe I thought by this time we'd be experts at this grief thing...

Not so much.

So we stumble through the minefield of loss and discover that the remembering takes us to places of  tiny joys

And we start smiling...

And our hearts open wide.

She left us a legacy of love that is a joy to remember.

In the grieving {and the remembering} we find our footing...

Gentle, Solid, Full of Hope.

God is gracious to comfort...

And that is Grace for today,

Always,

         Jane

Choosing Grace over Grief this Day...

Some anniversaries are for celebrating... Some anniversaries are for grieving...

Today was a bit of both.

It's been 2 years since mom slipped away from us in the early morning mist

2 years without her smile, without her laugh, without her warmth. Voices have cracked in the remembering, tears have spilled heedless and hearts have ached all over again. Something about an anniversary of such grief brings back the memories sharp and deep.

But it also brings back moments of sweet, and that is why we can choose to celebrate today as well. We can choose to write Grace over the Grief and be grateful for the Gift that she was. She poured herself into our lives, becoming friend and champion, a giver of hugs and love, leaving lasting joy in her wake. We can grieve her passing, but move forward to celebrate the eternal impact she has had on each one of us.

Mom, you are so very, very missed... We love you always and forever, Jane

Why do you get married?

62 years...

...Married!!!

How do you make it work?  Some would ask Why do you make it work???

My beautiful parents-in-law, 62 years ago.

Time and marriage have a way of adding a few things...

Children and Growing Up

Daughter-in-laws and Opening Arms

Grandchildren and Laughter

Wrinkles out of nowhere

Pounds around the middle

Gray Hair on top

and No Hair for Pop :)

Love Multiplied

Heartaches Unavoidable...

And through it all, one thing remains constant.

The Two Shall be One...

Here on their 50th Wedding Anniversary,

and then Today, still together, going on 62 years Together!

Their marriage has survived miscarriage, military separations, moves, the death of a son, and now the advent of illness and the frailty of aging years...

The constancy of their marriage is like a welcoming light in the window beckoning you home.

It is a journey of faith and commitment and love.

From the first blush of young love to the cherished patina from decades of lived-out love ...

"We need a witness to our lives.  There's a billion people

on the planet...I mean, what does any one life really mean?

But in marriage, you're promising to care about everything.

The good things, the bad things, the terrible things,

the mundane things...all of it, all of the time, every day.

You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because

I will notice it.  Your life will not go un-witnessed

because I will be your witness'."

                       ~ Beverly Clark, Shall We Dance, 2004

For me, that is Legacy Living at it's finest.  To honor another with your heart, your words, your time, and your faithfulness.  It is leaving a Legacy that will outlast your life.  Their example has left indelible impressions upon each one of us as we too are witness to the enduring commitment of vows spoken some 62 years ago...

For Better, For Worse

In Sickness, In Health...

Marriage isn't for the faint of heart.  The commitment part takes discipline and time.  For isn't Perseverance simply a long obedience in the same direction?

The power of such a covenant is profound, and we are the joyful recipients of these sacred vows.  How blessed we are to be raised up and sheltered under the circle of their love...

Love you always Grandpa Don and Grandma Millie... This Daughter-in-law can't begin to express her love and gratitude for you both... How did I ever get so lucky?!

Graced Forever to be Grafted into your Story,  Always Yours, Jane 

All Out of Whack

This afternoon I walked into the house and was greeted by the loveliest little Christmas Cactus flower!

In the middle of March mind you!  I have been so preoccupied with life, grief, dad, grand-babes and chores that I had totally forgotten to look for the beautiful Christmas blooms this past December.  And really, this little plant has always been so faithful to flower during the holidays. 

Here she is in years past.  Laden with blooms, dripping sweetness and beauty...

So this year, she's 3 months late.  Go figure!  Perhaps our grieving spirits really knocked her for a loop this Christmas.  But in the midst of it all I never even noticed.  I consider it a blessing we're talking about a cactus here, because I don't think she got watered for weeks on end.  Really, my house plants were not high on the priority list during the tumult and sorrow of losing mom.

But, today she blooms.  There is Hope.  Even for the dry, parched, barren places of the soul. 

Beauty is there.  Sometimes small, sometimes late.  But struggling to be seen, to be felt, to be embraced.

And I know this little blossom was a gift to a tired heart this day...

It was a day spent with Dad, walking yet another first.  Celebrating their 52nd Wedding Anniversary.  Not at a fancy restaurant, nor a candlelit dinner at home.  This anniversary was commemorated with a small yellow rose bouquet and quiet, shared memories at her columbarium...

We should take stock in Kleenex at this point in our journey.  The grief is still heavy and ever present.  I am learning anew how difficult and uncharted this road can be.  We can laugh over shared memories and stories while lips are quivering and tears are falling.  It is the nature of the beast.

And yet, this moment of beauty in my day. 

Fiercely determined to bloom, delicate and lovely, despite an inner clock that is all out of whack!

Sometimes beauty comes late.  Still a gift, delighting the heart.  And know that it brings Hope.  Always right on time...

May Beauty flood your soul this day.  Perfect, Fierce and Lovely.

Resting in Grace, Jane