Whisper the Promise...

The cancer journey is hard.  Sometimes too hard.  We falter under the weight.  We lose sight of Hope.  We doubt God's goodness...

When mind and body are pushed past what can be endured, the Promise-Giver whispers Hold on to Me...

The Promises of God are rich and true and written especially for you, and for me.  When we struggle?  Take a verse and make it our own.  Read the Scripture, then Whisper the Promise... Let His word speak Hope to our heavy hearts... Here are some of our favorites:

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.   Isaiah 43:2
The Promise:  When I go through deep waters, God, you will be with me.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11
The Promise:  I know God has a plan for me... a plan to prosper and not to harm me, a plan to give me hope and a future.

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."  Deuteronomy 31:6
The Promise:  I will not be afraid nor terrified because you Lord God go with me and will never leave me nor forsake me.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10
The Promise: I will not fear for God is with me.  He will strengthen and help me, He will uphold me with His righteous right hand.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.  Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.  Psalm 62:6-8
The Promise: I will not be shaken, for God is my rock and my salvation.  God is my fortress.  I will trust in him at all times, I will pour out my heart to him, for God is my refuge.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.  Exodus 14:14
The Promise:  The Lord will fight for me, I need only to be still.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.  Psalm 55:22
The Promise:  I will cast my cares on the Lord and he will sustain me; He will never let me be shaken.

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.  Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.  Isaiah 58:8-9
The Promise:  When I call the Lord will answer, when I cry for help, he will say: Here am I.

On the day I called, you answered me; my strength of soul you increased.  Psalm 138:3
The Promise:  When I called, you answered me, you strengthened my soul.

Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.  Psalm 103:2-4
The Promise:  I will praise the Lord and will never forget all his benefits - He forgives all my sin and heals all my diseases, He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  Matthew 11:28-29
The Promise:  I will come to God when I am weary and heavy laden and He will give my rest.

Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.  For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.  Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.  Psalm 33:20-22
The Promise:  My soul waits for the Lord, he is my help and my shield.  My heart is glad in him, because I trust in his holy name.  Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon me, even as I hope in you.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.  Psalm 46:1-3
The Promise:  God, you are my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore I will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

*     *     *

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.  Romans 15:4

His Word is Powerful, His Promises altogether Trustworthy.


Graced to Hope anew this day,
Always,
             Jane

When we can't help but ask Why?

I believe in a Gracious God.

I am blessed beyond measure, here in this place.

I know that my Redeemer lives and has opened the gates of heaven for his adored.

And then... Pancreatic Cancer...

How can we ever mesh the two?  My Sovereign God... This Malignant Cancer... Stealing our joy, our faith, our hope... But still we believe... God holds us, He is Love... But the Cancer, it is relentless...

We learn that Cancer can distort the innocence.  It Changes the naive beliefs.  It is heartless and cruel.  To take our moms and dads, our spouses, our children... Our faith is stalked and shaken...

This is the battle fought in countless lives every. single. day.

Pancreatic Cancer.  No respecter of position or power or place.  Nor of faith...

We watch the Patrick Swayze's... And the Michael Landon's... And the Steven Jobs... And the Randy Pausch's... Men in their prime, succumbing to pancreatic cancer's vicious stranglehold...

And we ask Why? How can it be that pancreatic cancer is still winning?  Why, God, Why?

And the question becomes so much more personal when it is you... or your spouse... or parent.

And it gnaws a hole in our soul.

Truly, it is the question of most every cancer patient... Why Me? And for every cancer family... Why Us?

To be fair, there are some who would ask the question 'Why not me?'  For none of us are given a free pass in this fallen world... But in the dark nights of the cancer journey, when the pain stabs and the tears run salty, these questions spill over and despair gains traction... Cancer consumes our thoughts and we plead for the answer to Why?

Early on in our cancer journey, we met a family who had every right to ask these questions. 

Dan was young and healthy and busy... Raising a beautiful family, loved by an extraordinary woman... Pancreatic cancer had no business in their lives... until it became their only business.

Dan underwent surgery and for a brief time thought the battle was won.  But the cancer came back with a vengeance, spreading to his liver.. and they heard the words... stage 4, inoperable.

Why?  Heart trips over the pain and the hurt. Tell me why....  he was young, healthy, had a family that needed him, loved him... Tell me why, why is pancreatic cancer still winning?

And I learned that the question "Why" can haunt you and make you crazy... because there are no answers...

Chuck Smith wisely shared these words when others asked him that very question during his cancer journey,

"Never trade what you do know for something you don't know."

He continued, "I know God loves me.  I know God is good.   I may not know Why, but I do know that God is working out His perfect plan in my life."

When the cancer diagnosis turned deadly, Trisha, Dan's wife, shared the moments in a poignant letter.  The moments suspended in time when they learned the cancer was back... and was winning.

Unspeakable pain, Unshakeable faith.

And it reminded me immediately of Chuck Smith's admonition... We hold on to what we KNOW, even in the midst of heart-wrenching seasons of whys...

Trish and Dan have walked the road of Hard Grace.  This cancer journey so incredibly difficult to navigate, let alone understand.  When I asked her if she would consider letting me share part of the letter with you, she didn't hesitate...

"YES you may use it!!  I'd be honored...  I just want God to use me through all this pain.  Don't get me wrong.  I do have joy in my life and so many blessings!!! It's just not going the way I had planned."

And so, with Trisha's determined permission, here is a portion of the letter she sent me:

"I have decided to open my heart and soul and let you see a raw, honest glimpse of what goes on in the heart and mind of a woman whose beloved husband has cancer:  Sometimes I am flooded with my FEELINGS over this whole cancer thing, and sometimes I am standing firmly on what I KNOW regardless of my feelings.  This piece below was sent to me by a friend.  It has helped me share with others how I feel! 

If I were to catalog some of my "Feelings" from A to Z, here is what you would see in my heart:

A - afraid, anxious, alone...
B - broken, burdened...
C - confused, crushed...
D - doubt, dread, discouraged...
E - envious... (of those whose journey does not include cancer or suffering)
F - fearful, fatigued...
G - guarded, guilty...
H - helpless, hopeless, heartbroken...
I - insecure, inadequate...
J - jostled and jerked around...
K - kicked down...
L - lonely, lost...
M - mad, mournful...
N - numb!!!
O - oppressed, overwhelmed...
P - powerless, "poor me"...
Q - like Quitting!!...
R - restless, rejected...
S - sad, sorrowful, scared...
T - tired, tense, tearful...
U - useless, uneasy, unsure...
V - victimized...
W - worried, worn-out, weary...
X - eXtremely eXhausted...
Y - whY this? whY now? whY Dan?...
Z - lacking zeal...lacking ZZZZ's (sleep)...

Wow!  All those sad feelings could leave one flat-lined emotionally, and sometimes I am, but thankfully, I have a strong faith on a firm foundation that is based on His Word and His Truth!

This is what I KNOW to be true, that in spite of my fickle feelings, raw emotions, and the cancer, I KNOW...

A -  He is ALWAYS WITH ME!  He promises never to leave me or forsake me!
B - He BINDS up the broken-hearted!
C - He is the God of all COMFORT and He CARES for me!
D - He DIED so that I may live with Him eternally one day!
E - He is EMMANUEL... GOD WITH US!
F - He promises me a FUTURE, and a FOREVER HOME with Him!
G - He is the GENTLE SHEPHERD who cares for His lambs!
H - He HOLDS all things together with His HAND!
I - I am His and He is mine!
J - I have been JUSTIFIED through faith in Christ!
K - He is the KING OF KINGS!!
L - He LEADS me, all the way my Savior LEADS me! (even through the valley of the shadow of death)
M - His MERCIES are new every MORNING!
N - NOTHING can ever separate me from His love... NOTHING!!
O - He is the OMNISCIENT, OMNIPRESENT, OMNIPOTENT God!
P - He PROVIDES the PEACE that PASSES all understanding through His POWER!
Q - In the secret, in the QUIET place, in the stillness YOU are there!
R - He will uphold me by His RIGHTEOUS RIGHT hand!
S - SALVATION is found in no one other!
T - I can TRUST in Him and not lean on my own understanding!
U - UNDER His wings I am safely abiding!
V - There is VICTORY in Jesus!
W - When I WAIT on the Lord, my strength will be renewed!
X - His grace is eXtravagant!
Y - His YOKE is easy and His burden is light!
Z - He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, and I can rest in that and get some ZZZZZZZ's!

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart with you.  It's so easy and almost "natural" for me to be swallowed up in the raging, billowing sea of life and be tossed around by the storms of life! Yet, I know that no matter what the storm, my anchor holds to the One who created me, and has a plan for me, Dan and each and every one of you!     ~ Trisha"

Standing firm on the foundation of God's Word, His Truth...

our Comfort, our Hope...

Never trade what you do Know for something that you don't know.

Thank you Trisha for reminding us all that God is so much bigger than our circumstances.  Your faith, dear friend, has given inspiration to countless others.  Praying for God's sweetest blessings upon you as your journey unfolds in His time.  May you know, abundantly so, just how eXtravagant His Grace truly is... Love you!

Holding on to the power of this Truth tonight,  In Grace, Always, Jane

The 23rd Psalm in Pictures...

The Lord is my Shepherd...
That's Relationship

  

I shall not want...
That's Supply

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...
That's Rest

He leadeth me beside the still waters...
That's Refreshment

He restoreth my soul...
That's Healing

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness...
That's Guidance
 

For His Name's sake...
That's Purpose

 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
That's Testing

 

 

I will fear no evil for Thou art with me...
That's Protection

 

 

 

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me...
That's Loving Discipline

 

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies...
That's Hope

 

Thou annointest my head with oil...

That's Consecration

My cup runneth over...
That's Abundance

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...

That's Blessing

 

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever...
That's a Secured Eternity!

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul:

he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

thou anointest my head with oil;

my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house

of the LORD for ever."

                 Psalm 23

 

When God Doesn't Answer Our Prayers...

In the midst of family hugs and baby kisses...

 

Our week-long visit with our Illinois kin went much too fast!

 

And right in between games of Rummikub and Springtime Grilling...

 

 

 

 

Sacred conversations mingled low and hushed.

 

Grandpa Don, family patriarch, giver of peppermint candies and piggy-back rides, Sunday morning bus runs and fish stories, has been grappling with the hard things.  The questions of faith and prayers and the promises of God...

 

Over quiet morning cups of coffee and afternoon strolls down sterile corridors... the struggles emerged.  This journey thru life weighing heavy.   Diabetes and prostate cancer can ravage a body.  And this man of faith prays hard for healing, for the pain to ease, for comfort...

 

For with God all things are possible... Yes?   He told us to Ask and it shall be Given... True.  We nod.  It is a promise we hold fast...  and yet he shakes his head in defeat... then why has He not answered my prayers?   In a fit of frustration, Don gestures to a body betraying him, tired legs that refuse him the independence of walking free, burning lungs starved for the oxygen whistling thru the infernal plastic tubes and brittle bones aching long into the night.  Why has the God I have served, and believed in and trusted with my very life, turned a deaf ear to my cries?

 

We listen to his heart.

 

Cry deep inside for the pain we know he feels, the loss we feel as he ages before our eyes.

 

And we search the Word for life, for hope... for Grace in the midst of the hurt.

 

We pray.  Yes, even still.  Pray for faith to grow, for answers, for peace...

 

And God is there.  In the most unlikely of places.  In a nursing home, filled with the frail and dying.  A minister dares to speak scripture that made us cringe...

 

"And just as it is appointed for men to die once, and after that

comes the judgement, so Christ, having been offered once to

bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal

with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him."

                                                               ~   Hebrews 9:27-28

 

To speak of death to those staring it in the face?  And yet the minister continued, as if he could read Don's mind... God could easily answer all our prayers.  Prayers for healing, for remission of cancer, for wholeness in the flesh.  And if He did... why, no one would ever die!  For who doesn't pray for healing when they are sick?

 

I blinked at the logic.

 

And something clicked for Don.  A light shone bright.  After the worship service he was different, more content.  His focus had changed.  His faith found solid ground.

 

As Don worked thru the message that day, he admitted that he never really thought about how he would die, never expecting to suffer at such length.  Maybe, he said, I thought I would fall asleep one night, healthy and whole and wake up in heaven, completely skipping the "dying" part. 

 

Sometimes it's hard to accept that God's plan, His journey for us, will at some point take us through the death valley.  He will never turn a deaf ear to our cries and is there every step of the way... longing for our faith to be made whole and complete as we walk at last into eternity.  Complete and whole and more loved than we could ever imagine. 

 

"Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work

within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask

or even dream of, infinitely beyond our highest prayers,

desires, thoughts, or hopes."

                                ~Ephesians 3:20

 

Later that afternoon, as we gathered together in a boisterous family circle, Don blessed the fellowship, the food, and encouraged our faith in the Grace of a Mighty God...

 

God delights in answering our prayers...if we only open our hearts and receive.

 

In Grace, Always,

               Jane

The Journey Clarified

Yesterday's post caught me by surprise.  What started out as a light commentary on the doings of the day took a detour down a much deeper, more emotionally raw path than I expected.  I guess it's part of the journey, but still the visceral punch leaves me winded.  The anticipatory grief is truly a glacier weight, slow, massive and unstoppable, grinding us down when we foolishly turn our backs on its icy chill to seek the sun.

I am always in awe of the timing of God.  Some would call it coincidence, I believe it to be the providential work of His unseen Hand.  An email hit my inbox just as I posted yesterday's blog.  My heart was sore, my soul felt bruised.  The note spoke healing with mercy and grace.  In it, a sweet so-journer on this cancer trail shared a Word.  Of Hope.  From God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11b "He has set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

The timing was right.  My heart was questioning.  In answer, a glimpse of God's longing... for us to long with a desparate need for Him, for Eternity.  He has set eternity in our very hearts.  Oh, what we miss as we live our very lives focused on the here and now.  Does it take a terminal illness to draw our eyes heavenward?  To seek the answers of eternity?  Of paradise?  Peace settles as God assures that we will never understand, never completely fathom the path, and it's okay.  Setting our hearts on eternity is the goal, and God has already done the work.

Grace met the need.