One Small Mis-Step....One Big Disruption

The job was completed.  All that was left was clean-up. 

Farmer Husband was almost ready to head home.

And then the cuff of his pants caught on a pallet while he was loading up the spent steering cylinder.

It was just a little mis-step.  Mere inches and his cuff would have cleared the pallet.

 

No...No, not this pallet!

 

. . . . .

 

. . . . . .

 

. . . . . . .

 

 

This Pallet! 

The forward momentum of his body and the 150lb steering cylinder spelled disaster.

He landed on his right side with a jarring thud and intense pain followed.  His shoulder seemed to take the brunt of the fall.

Life spun from Grand to Gloomy in a heartbeat.

These last few weeks have been spent visiting doctors, filling perscriptions, having x-rays, meeting physical therapists, and finally a trip to the Imaging Center for an MRI.

Final Diagnosis...Torn Rotator Cuff.

Ughh!  Our journey through life just took an unexpected detour.

Consult with an Orthopedic Surgeon is in the future as well as possible (very likely) surgery.

While we wait for the wheels of insurance approval and appointment availability we find ourselves offering Gratitude for the Graces found even in this valley...

The injury is not life-threatening.  Grace Given.  We know the heart-ache of so many with terminal diagnoses.

The big jobs will wait.  Grace Offered.  Work has arranged for light duty for Leroy while "off" tending his shoulder.  We laugh at this Grace, for Farmer Husband is not prone to enjoy a desk job with its accompanying requisite filing and phone responsibilities.  But we know the hurt of so many with no jobs.

The enforced time home, rather than traveling across country with work is an unexpected gift.  Grace Enjoyed!  Time together is sweet.  We know the pain of so many missing loved ones gone.

And so we journey this messy life.  There will be hidden Graces still to find.  And Gratitude to give.

 

                                   ~ One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

Not Easy... But we're longing hard after Joy.  Trusting in the Grace Giver for abundance.

Love Always, Jane

Transition becomes us...

Still homeless... smile.

It has been just shy of a month since we said goodbye to the farm.

Tears have dried, Christmas has slipped into our hearts and the New Year shines before us.

And this is our current state of affairs... we are homeless, drifting between the welcoming arms of my father and our daughter (thank you, thank you).  They are providing the comfortable bed, the overflowing table, and the bounty of laughter and love to prepare us for the journey ahead.

We are calling it "The Hunt."

It is the hunt for our next home, perhaps our retirement nest, our family's gathering place...

And it is exciting and fun... and Exhausting!

We are in transition... in a Big Way... but then it seems all of life is but one big transition... we are constantly adjusting to change (as much as we try to resist).  I look with disbelief on my eldest child, who to me is still the tow-headed toddler, now with toddlers of his own!

Would that we could freeze the moments and slow the change!  But transitions are relentless, despite our pleas, the changes come...

And so it was with the farm.

Several years ago, farmer-husband began traveling more and more with his company.  These past few years he has been gone more than he's been home.  The farm and all her wonderful responsibilities have fallen to me mostly, with a growing "honey-do" list for him on the weekends he's home. This has made the farm's work more weight than wonderful.

We will always be farmers at heart.  Country we are... the beauty of a still sunrise or a soaring hawk... the contentment and awe of a nanny with kids... the peace of an evening walk in the woods... we will never tire of these.

But life is messy sometimes.  Fences break, coyotes howl, hay needs hauling... Weekends meant for family and church, relaxing and recharging become fraught with stress and tension and not enough time...

God has been sweetly calling us to Him.  Prompting our hearts that there is a place of balance. A place that allows space for family and friends, a place that speaks Grace over stress...

For us it will be down-sizing the whole, but magnifying the little... easy to say, difficult to find!

Thus, the Hunt...

And in the meantime, a life of transitions!

 

Perhaps transition has caught you off-guard?  Yes...No...?! 

 

A cross-country job change... a tragic illness... a heart-wrenching loss... your life may be in chaotic transition.

 

Or... the changes are slipping by silently.  A neighbor moves... a boss retires... a child grows... transitions of the quietest kind, they have a way of sneaking up on you...

  

Look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else.”

                                                         ~ Tom Stoppard

 

Wherever you find yourself on this life journey, may you be Graced with wisdom and patience...and most of all, an abiding Peace through the changes...

 

Love to each,

            Jane

   

                                                                      

Cross-stitch Marathon

You know the people around you who always look perfectly put together?  Always on top of things, never a hair out of place, the 2.5 children (well-behaved of course), adorable dog and white picket fence? 

Yea, well, I'm not her...

My life is messy, overwhelming, and sometimes just plain out of control.  If you look at me I may just as easily be laughing wildly over some hilarious nothing or be bursting into sobs over the same inconsequential nothing.  Oprah coined a phrase, "the ugly cry."  Been there, done that.

So, I have to admit, I will never be that perfect model of put-togetherness.  My latest project is undeniable proof of that:

I've been working feverishly these past weeks on a cross-stitch wedding sampler for my daughter and her husband.  I say feverishly because I missed giving it to them for their wedding (last February, 2011).  Just too much going on getting the wedding put together - needlework certainly wasn't my first priority.  And then I missed giving it to them for Christmas.   Mom's last courageous battle with pancreatic cancer complications and her passing consumed our lives.  I couldn't have found my cross-stitch bag if my life depended on it.  And I'm so okay with that...

 But now I have one more chance... their anniversary!  Only a month away.  God give me strength for the last push.  I will get this sampler done.  Maybe... Well, I would if I was a put-together person!  Of course, if that was true I would have had it done for their wedding a year ago...

And something occured to me last night as I was untangling another knot from my intensely complicated project.  Cross-stitch is so like my life.

This is a picture of the front portion of the sampler where I'm currently working:

And this is (cringe) the back of the same portion:

I really like the front side, such a beautiful rendering of this winter scene, stitches even and neat, balanced colors.  You can actually tell what it's supposed to be!  Kind of like how I wish my life might appear.  A truthful rendering of life filled with balance and beauty.  Unfortunately...

My life, in all honesty, looks like the back side.  Ugh...  so snarled up and knotted together.  Cancer, grief, struggles, pain, and tears tangled up with love, joy, baby snuggles, and husband hugs.   How can anyone make any sense of it?!

And then I look back at the front... Ohhhh, I can't wait until it's finished.  It will be a wonderous gift!

Just like my life.   Just like yours.   A gift, all the more precious because of the knots and tangles.  Somedays we see a glimpse of what our lives could be.  Motivates me to pursue through the messy snarls of life...

God sees the finished product already and it is BEAUTIFUL!