Cross-stitch Marathon

You know the people around you who always look perfectly put together?  Always on top of things, never a hair out of place, the 2.5 children (well-behaved of course), adorable dog and white picket fence? 

Yea, well, I'm not her...

My life is messy, overwhelming, and sometimes just plain out of control.  If you look at me I may just as easily be laughing wildly over some hilarious nothing or be bursting into sobs over the same inconsequential nothing.  Oprah coined a phrase, "the ugly cry."  Been there, done that.

So, I have to admit, I will never be that perfect model of put-togetherness.  My latest project is undeniable proof of that:

I've been working feverishly these past weeks on a cross-stitch wedding sampler for my daughter and her husband.  I say feverishly because I missed giving it to them for their wedding (last February, 2011).  Just too much going on getting the wedding put together - needlework certainly wasn't my first priority.  And then I missed giving it to them for Christmas.   Mom's last courageous battle with pancreatic cancer complications and her passing consumed our lives.  I couldn't have found my cross-stitch bag if my life depended on it.  And I'm so okay with that...

 But now I have one more chance... their anniversary!  Only a month away.  God give me strength for the last push.  I will get this sampler done.  Maybe... Well, I would if I was a put-together person!  Of course, if that was true I would have had it done for their wedding a year ago...

And something occured to me last night as I was untangling another knot from my intensely complicated project.  Cross-stitch is so like my life.

This is a picture of the front portion of the sampler where I'm currently working:

And this is (cringe) the back of the same portion:

I really like the front side, such a beautiful rendering of this winter scene, stitches even and neat, balanced colors.  You can actually tell what it's supposed to be!  Kind of like how I wish my life might appear.  A truthful rendering of life filled with balance and beauty.  Unfortunately...

My life, in all honesty, looks like the back side.  Ugh...  so snarled up and knotted together.  Cancer, grief, struggles, pain, and tears tangled up with love, joy, baby snuggles, and husband hugs.   How can anyone make any sense of it?!

And then I look back at the front... Ohhhh, I can't wait until it's finished.  It will be a wonderous gift!

Just like my life.   Just like yours.   A gift, all the more precious because of the knots and tangles.  Somedays we see a glimpse of what our lives could be.  Motivates me to pursue through the messy snarls of life...

God sees the finished product already and it is BEAUTIFUL!