Dana Delany has a Message for You!

Hello everyone!

Just wanted to ring the bells and let it be known that November is Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month.

Not that you aren't already aware of pancreatic cancer ;-/ but this is the "official" edict. It is a chance for more emphasis to be put on this devastating disease and in so doing, channel more money, more research, and more advancement into finding a cure. And ultimately ending the reign of terror that pancreatic cancer holds over us.

Today I found out that the actress Dana Delany lost her father to this terrible disease when he was only 56 years old. I hope you'll take a few minutes and watch her video:

She speaks to the truth of how unrelenting pancreatic cancer is. The battle is ferocious and often much too short.

We can change that.

In our lifetime. By bringing the spotlight to bear on this disease, by participating in local events like Purple Stride and the Purple Light Vigil for Hope, by contacting our members of congress and urging them to support more research funding, by coming alongside those struggling with this cancer and offering to put our money where our mouth is. And I speak to myself as much as to you...

If you want to learn more about volunteering for progress, check out the Pancreatic Action Network at www.knowitfightitendit.org.

To show your support this month, wear some purple and cheer us on!

Love you all, Jane

Balancing Act

Well, it's Monday. And we haven't had to call the doctor...yet. Mom's abdominal pain isn't worse, and maybe it's just a tad better, but definitely still a problem. Mom thinks the increased dose of Nexium may be helping. We have our fingers and toes crossed :-)

She is still eating fairly well, but when the pain hits, she says it is like a burning spasm under her rib cage. Not fun. She's been having to take quite a bit of break-through pain medication just to stay comfortable. We covet your prayers for this nagging discomfort.

I think that is probably one of our biggest concerns as we face this terminal illness head-on. Balancing physical comfort with aggressive treatment. And it is a balancing act. We have the toxic Gemzar on board to go after the cancer, and then we also have the Nexium, the marinol, the steroids, the morphine and the vicodin on board to counteract the harrowing effects of the chemo. Balance.

It's all Balance. And when we get the balance right, it's a good day! Praying for wisdom and grace to walk that tightrope well.

Love you all, Jane

True Friends

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” ~ unknown

Love this quote.  It speaks to me, especially after today.  Because today, these friends saw our need, swooped in to the rescue, and sang smiles back into our lives.

I'll be honest, the last few days have been rough.  We wobble with that trust.  Moments of strength followed by doubts and a gnawing worry over the insidious nature of this cancer.  Our smiles have been shaky, our fears breaching the surface often.

Friends.  Oh, they knew.  And they came.  Without hesitation.  They pulled us up off the couch, piled us into cars and hallowed our lives with laughter and love.  Bless every sweet note of grace today.

Mom's friends organized an impromptu card party.  Canasta.  Mom's favorite.

My friends nabbed me after lunch and made a beeline for the Dallas Arboretum.  Hiking, sunshine, dazzling beauty, laughter and conversation.  What a glorious way to spend this crisp, fall day!  The gardens were magnificient and all decked out for the Halloween festivities.

And nary a word about pancreatic cancer.  Just friends connecting, sharing and enjoying:

True friends, not afraid to wade into the muck of our emotional distress, take the burden for an afternoon and put that song back into our hearts.

Thank you, sweet ones, you are His grace to us this day. 

Foggy Vision

Shaking the fog from our minds this day as surely as the sun will burn the last of this damp mist away by noon.  The valley is quiet and still under the blanket of moisture, waiting for the light of day to bring warmth and comfort.

It is the same with us.

The fog of worry has stilled us, and we wait for the Son to light our way, warm us, to bring clarity and comfort.  We make the decision to trust the road beneath our wheels even when we can't see for the clouded vision of uneasiness and fear.  And that trust is all He asks.  His promises are true.  He will never leave us, nor forsake us, no matter how foggy the way seems.

Just a word, Not a sentence...

It's a fact. What goes up, invariably comes down. Obviously mom's tumor marker didn't get the memo...

In the past week it has spiked up 80 points and is now at 362. It was not the news we wanted. Combined with her increasing upper rib cage pain, and we have a worry fest in the making.

However, the good news is that all her other blood work looked great. Platelets have rebounded well and chemo was a go today. So this will be round #1 of Gemzar in this cycle. Hopefully the increased tumor marker is an anomaly and will be dropping as we hit it hard with the chemo.

Mom talked with the nurse today about the increased pain and described it as intense acid-reflux. When it hits, nothing seems to help. For the last two nights she's been sleeping upright in the recliner (only way she can get relief from the burning pain). Bridget, the nurse, doubled her nexium, and said to give it a week, hoping that will help. We've decided that if mom's not better by Monday, we're calling. None of this "waiting and seeing" business anymore. We tried that with her gallbladder and then again when she had the septic strep infection. Both times we followed the oncologist's "let's wait and see" approach to mom's great detriment. It's time to be a little more assertive!

Thankfully none of this has affected her appetite. Dad took her to IHOP tonight and she made quick work of the Short Stack Sampler, (pancakes, eggs, bacon and hashbrowns)! Ummm... Just love breakfast for dinner!

It would be easy to let worry consume our moments. This journey is unpredictable and rocky. We have to constantly remind ourselves that "cancer is just a word, not a sentence." If we let it become a sentence, then it takes over our lives, snuffing out the joy in the everyday blessings all around us. Like:

Rain pouring from the sky this day to quench a parched patch of earth

The first crackling fire in the woodstove this season

Pancakes smothered in sweet syrup

Gentle hands from the chemo staff, thanks Lance :)

Platelets, Red Blood Cells and Hemoglobin all doing their jobs

The smell of homemade Banana Bread baking in the oven

Giggling Grandbabies

and Chocolate Truffles

Oh, the list could go on and on, I'm sure you can add to it the many blessings of your day. God is good. May I never forget, even when worry tries to derail our Hope.

Leaning into Him, Jane

Mushroom Surprise

I always thought mushrooms were suspicious.  Most grow in the dark.  They are classified as fungi.  And the wild ones have scary names, like Death Cap and Destroying Angel.  I will agree, though, that they do have a place in the ecological scheme of things.  Their entire purpose in life is to break down dead material into usable nutrients.  In other words they live on dead, rotting things.  Like I said, suspicious. 

Not sure how I overcame my years of distrust.  Maybe it was the delectable beef stroganoff with mushrooms we had on our last cruise, or the mouth-watering sauteed mushrooms served with the steak on our last visit to SaltGrass Steakhouse.  But somewhere along the way, mushrooms and I became buds.

Until yesterday...

We found these sweet little mushrooms out in the pasture.  A little past prime, but still looking edible.

Until you see

        where

             they

                 were

                       growing...

Yep, that's Donkey Poop.  Horse Apples.  Manure.

Thank you very much Daisy,

you confirmed my original fear.  Mushrooms are not to be trusted.  Edible yes.  Trustworthy no. 

Lesson for today:  Sometimes you have to walk through crap to get the prize.

Ice Cream Sundae Time

 
We're celebrating! A good appetite! A productive day! And 5-bar internet service!

Ok, so the internet is just the cherry on top. The real cause for our good mood is mom's continued well-being and great appetite. We don't take a pound of it for granted!

And she needed the energy for today's errands. After a tasty philly cheesesteak sandwich to fortify us, we began our rounds. We started at the hospital to get mom signed in with physical therapy, then we drove to Department of Motor Vehicles to pick up her Handicap Placard and finally checked with the medical supply store about ordering a wheelchair.  Her legs have continued to weaken over the past weeks.  The combination of weight loss and chemo fatigue has done a number on her leg muscles. Dr. Davis decided to order the physical therapy in an effort to reverse some of that damage. The handicap sign and wheelchair will make manuevering easier in the meantime. And this past weekend, a slight mis-step in the garage convinced us that mom will definitely benefit from these pre-cautions!  We are so thankful that the stumble only resulted in a few bruises and wounded pride, not broken bones and Emergency Room trips.  Dr. Davis' orders were first on our list to take care of today!

Finally, with doctor's orders complete, we got down to business and began shopping in earnest! Christmas Shopping!!! Oh, yes! Only 61 shopping days left... We made delightful progress. 2 gifts bought, only umpteen dozen to go. Skylar and Autumn, checked off! So much fun shopping for you precious little ones!

And after Christmas shopping, we hit the grocery store. With our new Handicap sticker! Big Bummer. All the handicap spots were taken! So we pulled on our Big Girl Panties and walked all the way in, completed our shopping and motored on out. My, oh, my, but we're exhausted!

Enter Ice Cream Sundaes.

With chocolate syrup. Whip cream. And nuts. Feet are up. Time to relax!

Praying your day was filled with sweet successes. And your evening marked by the contented exhaustion of a day well lived. We recommend ice cream for everyone!
Love you, Jane