A Letter from the Battlefield...

"I'm still me...with just a side of cancer." 

Mom said that one day while she was wrangling her fanny-pack of chemo into submission... and it made me laugh.

Yes. She was still the mom we always loved and laughed with... just battling a terrible, deadly disease.

In a way, that moment was an intimate peek into our life with Cancer.  It was the world we lived in during mom's emotional journey with pancreatic cancer...

A Delicate Dance.

Tests and Needles and Sterile-Gloved Hands.

Birthdays and Bonfires.

Waiting Rooms and Surgeons.

Snuggles with Grandbabies and Dinner in the Oven.

Weddings and Kisses.

Chemo Rounds and a Radiation Blitz.

Blood Counts and Soup and Endless Bottles of Meds.

Sweet Baby Hugs and Lazy Summer Naps.  

Smiles...  And Tears.

Heartaches... And Grace.   

And finding our steps in the minefield of this most treacherous of battlefields...



It became our new normal.   Of course it was not the kind of "new" we wanted. 

New cars.  New puppies.  Even new shoes... yes please.  But this new cancer journey?  Never, ever on our want list.

As mom fought her cancer physically, she also fought battles emotional... some harder than others.  And as we walked the journey, she often shared with us honest truths, gut-punch realities of living with cancer...

We've collected many of these truths into a letter that mom would have loved to share with her friends and family... truly a letter straight from the trenches...

these are the things that she longed for us to hear as she skirmished it out on her Cancer Journey...

Join us these next 31 Days to wade deep
into the Cancer Battlefield and discover

the things that every cancer patient wants you to know...

Day 1 - A Letter from the Battlefield
Day 2 -  I Have Cancer...
Day 3 - The Cancer Pictures I Hate

Day 4 - Battlefield Break - Birthdays and Bonfires
Day 5 - Forget?  Who Me?
Day 6 - Walking a Cat on a Leash...
Day 7 - Seriously...
Day 8 - The sacredness of tears...
Day 9 - Grace to the Hurting
Day 10 - Make Cancer Stop...
Day 11 - Battlefield Break - Babies at the Fair
Day 12 - The Critical Hug Factor
Day 13 - It's all a Matter of Life and Death
Day 14 - Sending a Virtual Hug to the Ones we Love
Day 15 - Meet James and Jack
Day 16 - Ask Me, I Dare You!
Day 17 - A Little Bit of Jack Nicholson for the Win...
Day 18 - Battlefield Break - Finding Ourselves on the Battlefield Road
Day 19 - Taking Deeper Roots
Day 20 - Hold Me in the Storm
Day 21 - Spittin' Mad...
Day 22 - A Day in the Life
Day 23 - It will be enough...
Day 24 - T.H.I.N.K.
Day 25 - Battlefield Break - Hello Fall!
Day 26 - Party Time
Day 27 - Too Sick to Snack
Day 28 - Too Pooped to Party
Day 29 - Never Alone
Day 30 - I Will Not Watch You Die!
Day 31 - What Every Cancer Warrior Needs

It's a humbling blessing to share mom's heart.
 
                          In Grace, Always,
                                                    Jane

A Letter from the Battlefield:

what every cancer warrior needs

I need to say 'I Have Cancer'

without everyone falling apart around me.

I need your tender reminders for appointments and meds and meals,

my mind has been somewhere else lately.

I need to laugh...
and I need to cry.
And your sweet permission to do both.

I need you to make cancer stop,
and I will love you crazy for trying so hard.

I need your touch,
and I need my space... Give it with Love.

I need someone to ask how I'm doing,
and really want to know the answer.

I need you to be my foundation strong
when the storm bears down.

 I need your forgiveness when the outbursts and anger overwhelm,
my emotions have been in a rage ever since cancer came calling.

I need you to bring those sweet desserts and savory soups,
along with your understanding when I can only sample a bite
and your compassion when my strength fades in the midst of your visit.

More than anything, I need YOU...
Your support, Your encouragement, Your Love.

I can't ever imagine walking this cancer road alone.

Next