The Cancer Pictures I Hate

When mom and I talked about sharing her story here and on our website, one of the things she was insistent upon was complete honesty and transparency.  She was passionate about wanting to help others and prayed that her journey through this cancer valley would not be wasted…

To honor her wishes is what I will always strive to do, but sometimes it is hard to share the ugly and the pain.  To relive the nightmare.  To see the pictures of her suffering.  It pierces my heart to know she hurt, and that no matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t fix it.

Yesterday’s post, perhaps, was a little too much sunshine and rainbows.  I have more than once been accused of being overly positive and less than realistic… it’s true, I admit…

… and so today, I will share the cancer pictures I hate…it’s not part of  Mom’s Letter from the Battlefield, but it is very much a part of the relentless battle she waged against pancreatic cancer…

The endless weeks spent in the hospital battling chemo side-effects, infections and gallstone implosions...

The struggle to gain back strength from cancer’s debilitating attacks…

 

The moments when the cancer finds you in the midst of holiday joys…

 

The fragile, still most beautiful face to me, as cancer began to win the fight…

 

 

These are the pictures of cancer.  The ugly part of the battle.  The very honest, vulnerable side of the cancer warrior.

May we soon begin to win this war.  No one should ever have to walk this road… nor ever have to write another letter from the battlefield.

Praying hard with each one facing this fight.  Trusting God's sweet Grace to hold you close each moment along the way.

My Love Always,

                      Jane

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