What if...

 

Putting 2020 in our Rearview Mirror

The honest truth?  2020 has been a year!  And not one we've always embraced with joy...

But, most any cancer patient can tell you that 2020's got nothing on their cancer journey years.  For most, those cancer years are brutal, emotional and so difficult to leave behind.  Cancer has a way of haunting our days. Truth?  Yes... there are many reasons for looking with anticipation towards a new year and putting this one behind us.

We dream, we yearn for better days ahead!  The anticipation builds for the new year, a clean start, a gift ready to be unwrapped, a hope for the answer to our prayers.  Hope for a successful cancer treatment plan, Hope for peace, Hope for strength, Hope for a cure!

2021 is a blank slate and holds so much potential!  

Sending 2020 out with our thanksgiving and welcoming 2021 with open arms!

My Love,
Always,
            Jane 

 

Give us a clue!

 

;-)

365 Days of Gratitude

So honored to be a contributor in this new book...

Celebrating 365 Days of Gratitude

Celebrating the power of gratitude, this little book packs a punch.  There is an encouraging thought for each day of the year and with each inspiring message, the light of hope grows brighter.

Hope. It has been the theme of our lives since cancer hi-jacked our journey... for the Giving of Thanks alone has buried the despair and birthed a Hope that has carried us through the dark.

The 365 Days of Gratitude project has been so timely in my own life.   I need these daily reminders that we all have much to give thanks for.  And this isn't some Pollyanna kind of excessively cheerful, overly optimistic thanks-giving.  It's in the trenches, gritting your teeth, staring down death, where do you find hope here, giving-thanks-is-a-choice kind of gratitude.  

It is steadfast resolve.  It is hard.  And it is the only way to navigate the dark. When we choose gratitude over despair, it lights the way for the next step... And don't we all need some light when our path is hard?  Perhaps the words and message might offer hope for your journey as well. It is my prayer for you, no matter where this night finds you... don't give up.  There is Hope, and Life, and Grace for our days in the Thanksgiving.

Celebrating 365 Days of Gratitude is available now on Amazon.

Much Love,

Always,

         Jane

Christmas and Cancer

Two words that should never be in the same sentence... but they are, for too many of our loved ones.

Celebrating Christmas with cancer, there is no right (or wrong) way.

Every cancer journey is completely personal. Some are very private and others very open.

Mom was willing to share her story because she wanted her pain to matter. And I know she prayed it might be of help to other pancreatic cancer patients.

She was also very practical and she faced that first Christmas with a grim determination and a huge dose of grace.  With a prognosis of 3-6 months, we all knew this might be her last Christmas with us... and how exactly do you celebrate that kind of Christmas??  

Too much pressure in the midst of excruciating and nauseating treatments... celebrating anything wasn't really in the cards.

Maybe you are feeling the same.  Or perhaps you have a loved one just diagnosed.

It can be incredibly hard to get into the Christmas spirit.

If mom could, I know she'd want to offer a bit of advice.  A way through the minefield of expectations and parties and years of family traditions... a bit of grace to lighten your load.

To begin she would tell you to give yourself permission... permission to put  yourself first.

Know, and then honor, your limits.  This year might mean limiting your list.  Choosing to prioritize one or two things that are especially meaningful to you and then let go of the rest.

Someone once told her to cut her list in half, and then cut it in half again. Excellent advice!

The best gift you can give to yourself and your loved ones is time spent well with them.  It is the gift of presence.  And it means the world to the ones who love you.

May this Christmas bring moments of unexpected graces and quiet joys to see you through even the hardest days.

My Love, Always,
Jane

How can it be 10 years?

Time can stand still and yet rush by in an instant... it's a truth many cancer patients and their families struggle with.

10 years ago this month we spent our last Christmas with mom.

We just didn't know it.

The smiles speak to the happiness captured as we ringed mom and dad
in front of their Christmas tree that day.

If I close my eyes I can almost reach out and touch her shoulder.

The decade past has not dimmed the light nor the love we feel.

But, seriously, how can it be 10 years?

We had just learned of mom's pancreatic cancer diagnosis the month before and were still processing the implications, settling into a chemotherapy regimen, and getting our bearings.

That Christmas celebration was sweet, yet filled with so many unspoken questions.

We had no way of knowing how hard the battle would become as we smiled for the camera.

       .Mom fought with grace and grit for the entire next year

But the cancer fought harder and in the most cruel of ironies, pancreatic cancer took her from us just weeks before the following Christmas.

We miss mom every day, and so much more even, if that is possible, during this special season of Christmas.

"Mom loved Christmas.  As a matter of fact, as she faced her 1st Year Canciversary, she insisted on decorating the house before Thanksgiving... which was early even by her standards!  She said she just wanted to enjoy the season as long as possible... I wonder if she knew down deep that her days were dwindling.

It puts an ache in my heart to remember walking back into their home the Sunday she passed away, December 4th, to see the Christmas lights twinkling and the ornaments hanging just the way she had placed them... for us.  I know that if she hadn't decorated that tree when she did, we would never have had the strength to do it... But each day of that first December, as we planned a funeral and wrote her obituary, and accepted flowers and food and sweet hugs, the house sparkled with her special touch.  It was small, but it was the nudge I believe she knew we would need...

Keep on Living. Don't forget to Celebrate.

Make. Every. Day. Count."

~ excerpt from Grief and the Holidays

  My Love, Always,

Jane