Welcome 2024!

 

Looking ahead...

A Brand New Year, a Blank page.

A Fresh Start.

Trusting better things ahead.

So,

Take the trip. Snap the pictures.

Make the memory.

Baby steps...

but,

Do. The. Things.

Opt for Adventure.

Write the letter.
Let go of 2023.

Spend time well.

I am not naive.

I know cancer will dictate much of the journey...

but not all.

Choose grace for yourself.

Give space for the difficult.

Cry the tears.

Then,

Do the things that stir your heart.

Here's to better days ahead!

Welcome 2024!

Goodbye 2023!

 One last thought as December brings the year to a close...

And I like the thought behind this meme.  In general, it's refreshing to declutter and delete things that don't add value to your life... but... then there's the world of Cancer.

Not so simple.  If we could just hit the delete button and start over.  Remove the cancer and all the ensuing battles, the heartache and the pain.  

As we all know, all too well, there is no Delete button. Sigh... So, where do we go on this last day of December?  Closing the chapter on 2023 and heading straight into the unknown of 2024.  A blank book... an unwritten story... 

I have decided to add another word to the list.

De-voted.  Like being devoted to the things and people that matter.  The passions and the dreams that drive our decisions.

Devoting ourselves to living our lives well... De-spite the baggage of a cancer diagnosis.

Join me in bidding 2023 adieu and facing 2024 with a De-votion to all the things that matter most.

That will lead to a live de-finitely well lived!

My Love, Always,

Jane

 

Be The Light

 

When Patterns Become Unhealthy...

 

When the Day is Good...

 

The Way We Cope

Our Lives are Full of Endings... and Beginnings

 

How can it be 10 years?

Time can stand still and yet rush by in an instant... it's a truth many cancer patients and their families struggle with.

10 years ago this month we spent our last Christmas with mom.

We just didn't know it.

The smiles speak to the happiness captured as we ringed mom and dad
in front of their Christmas tree that day.

If I close my eyes I can almost reach out and touch her shoulder.

The decade past has not dimmed the light nor the love we feel.

But, seriously, how can it be 10 years?

We had just learned of mom's pancreatic cancer diagnosis the month before and were still processing the implications, settling into a chemotherapy regimen, and getting our bearings.

That Christmas celebration was sweet, yet filled with so many unspoken questions.

We had no way of knowing how hard the battle would become as we smiled for the camera.

       .Mom fought with grace and grit for the entire next year

But the cancer fought harder and in the most cruel of ironies, pancreatic cancer took her from us just weeks before the following Christmas.

We miss mom every day, and so much more even, if that is possible, during this special season of Christmas.

"Mom loved Christmas.  As a matter of fact, as she faced her 1st Year Canciversary, she insisted on decorating the house before Thanksgiving... which was early even by her standards!  She said she just wanted to enjoy the season as long as possible... I wonder if she knew down deep that her days were dwindling.

It puts an ache in my heart to remember walking back into their home the Sunday she passed away, December 4th, to see the Christmas lights twinkling and the ornaments hanging just the way she had placed them... for us.  I know that if she hadn't decorated that tree when she did, we would never have had the strength to do it... But each day of that first December, as we planned a funeral and wrote her obituary, and accepted flowers and food and sweet hugs, the house sparkled with her special touch.  It was small, but it was the nudge I believe she knew we would need...

Keep on Living. Don't forget to Celebrate.

Make. Every. Day. Count."

~ excerpt from Grief and the Holidays

  My Love, Always,

Jane

Learning to Make the Moments Matter

Pancreatic Cancer Does Not Define this Life

Yesterday we lost a civil rights legend... to pancreatic cancer...

John Lewis

There is a deep grief for his loss... for a nation, for his friends, but most of all for his loved ones.  

John Lewis served as a US congressman for more than 3 decades and was a passionate advocate in the pursuit of civil rights.  And while that is how the world knows him, his family shared their hearts yesterday...

"It is with inconsolable grief and enduring sadness that we announce the passing of U.S. Rep. John Lewis.  He was honored and respected as the conscience of the US Congress and an icon of American history, but we knew him as a loving father and brother.

He was a stalwart champion in the on-going struggle to demand respect for the dignity and worth of every human being.  He dedicated his entire life to non-violent activism and was an outspoken advocate in the struggle for equal justice in America.

He will be deeply missed."

When Congressman Lewis was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 6 months ago, he vowed to fight the disease in a vulnerable and honest statement, 

"I have been in some kind of fight - for freedom, equality, basic human rights - for nearly my entire life.  I have never faced a fight quite like the one I have now."

Pancreatic Cancer is a formidable foe.  It levels the playing field with a ruthless intensity.

Many have faced the same battle.  And fought hard.

Ultimately Pancreatic Cancer won the war that John Lewis fought valiantly.

But Pancreatic Cancer does not have the last word.

It does not define the life of John Lewis.

His legacy is one of tenancious courage, facing the struggle of inequality head-on with passion and faith.  He led with an unshakeable belief in the value of every life... for we all live in the same house.

"We all live in the same house."

                                 ~ John Lewis

So let's carry on together... in the fight before us.

 I believe Congressman Lewis would expect nothing less.

Prayers and Peace to his beloved family this night.

Taking the Leap

We were just babies...

40 years ago we took a leap into the grandest of adventures!  And we were just babies... look at the stars in our eyes!

{love}

Life has a way of smoothing the edges... and God has a way of gifting grace. There's a richness in the years we've walked together.  

So, today is filled with memories and dreams and hopes of the adventures to come. Blessed to share each day with the one I love.

Happiest of Days...  So glad we took the leap now 40 years ago!

Happy Anniversary Love!

The Way of the Bee...

We love our honey bees!

And the sweet gift from each hive!

That delicious elixir is the result of very focused, very hard work.  Here's a little Bee Trivia for you... Throughout their entire lifespan of 6-8 weeks, a single worker bee will only produce about 1/12th teaspoon of honey.  And they work night and day for those precious drops of golden sweetness!

Every hive has an amazing hierarchy, starting with the Queen Bee.  She runs the roost, and in an average hive, she will have between 20,000 and 80,000 worker bees at her command.

Some guard the entrance of the hive, some attend to the queen's needs, others clean the honeycomb cells for the queen to deposit new eggs, still others become the nurse bee workers to raise the larvae, feeding them the honey and pollen stored up in the hive and some even work as the hive pallbearers, removing dead bees from the hive when necessary.

But the vast majority of the worker bees are foragers.  They are the breadwinners of each hive.  They are bringing home the bacon (uhhh, nectar) for their queen.

The foragers will fly up to 3-5 miles from the hive searching for nectar and pollen.  Once they find it, they load up all they can carry and take it back to the hive and drop it off.  Then the worker bee turns around, flies out of the hive and begins the hunt all over again...

It has been estimated that it takes over 500 bees gathering nectar and pollen from upwards of 2 million flowers to make one pound of honey... Crazy!!

The foragers will fly hundreds of miles per day, every day, seeking nourishment for their hive, until their wings are torn and tattered.  Each worker bee will forage until they collapse from sheer exhaustion. It is a single-minded pursuit.

They are working to lay up food and provisions for the next generation.  Every mile the honey bee flies, every load they haul back, every precious bit of nectar they turn to honey is laid up for the ones that follow behind...

Pure Heart... Such Truth... So much to learn from these little bees!  Every thing that a worker bee does is for the future and hope of the hive.  

Each little honey bee has a God-gifted, God-directed need to complete their mission. And nothing can deter them... We call it the way of the Bee. 

And we might learn a thing or two from those sweet honey bees... here are some of the lessons we've been applying to our lives lately...

1.  Stay in your lane and do your one thing well.

2.  Commit to your work no matter how big or how small.

3.  Step up for the good of the team, knowing that Working Together sustains one another.

4.  Choose to leave a legacy of Hope for those who follow behind.

5.  Spread Kindness wherever you go and Blessings will blossom as a sweet reward.

6.  Never doubt the importance of your One Life.

In Grace Today,

My Love, Always,

Jane

The Hardest Goodbye...

Sometimes the words just won't come... We lost Dad a week ago, and still I cannot find ways to express the grief and the ache.

We have gathered together, held each other tight, and mourned... there is a void that will never be filled here this side of heaven.

And we have pulled out the old photos. Spent time pouring over the captured moments.  Laughing over old hairstyles and ancient memories.  Pictures of a life lived well.  Of Work and Sacrifice.  Laughter and Tears.  Of Family.  Of Grace... And most of all, pictures of an Abundant and Unmerited Love.  We have been so very, very Blessed...

David Michael Polly

September 15, 1935 - November 14, 2019

That smile...

I will miss it as long as I live.

Love you Dad,

Always and Forever.

Give Mom the biggest hug from all of us!

An Autumn Celebration

And today the mercury topped 100... again!   It is September, right??!!

Have mercy!

Longing for some sweater wearing, bonfire snuggling, cider brewing weather...

Please remind me come January how much I love chilly days and nights ;-)

Persevering thru the heat, blessed with family and cupcakes to ring in a Birthday Celebration for Poppy...84 years young!

Happy Birthday Poppy!

You make us smile!!

We Love You! 

The Purpose of Life...

Protect Life or Pursue It?

When mom embarked on her journey with pancreatic cancer, I'll be honest... Our primary, and only, objective was to protect
and preserve her life in any way possible. 

The end goal was always full healing... finding the cure to beat the detestable disease that had her in its cruel grip.

We lived, breathed, and slept with the belief that if we just searched long enough, and prayed hard enough, we'd be able to keep mom safe from harm, wholly protected.

It was a hard fall, that awakening to the reality of our losing battle.  Mom accepted the terminal prognosis long before any of us could see the truth behind the solemn words of her diagnosis:

You have inoperable pancreatic cancer... 

And I can't say that we really ever accepted it.  Until her last breath we prayed for a miracle.

It has taken time to give perspective to the fight.  Our pastor shared a message several weeks ago that profoundly changed my outlook on the way we live life well.

{Spoiler Alert:  Mom figured it out much more quickly than we did!}

The passage came from a familiar scripture:

"Whoever finds their life will lose it,
and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."

~ Matthew 10:39

Here in the gospel account, we find Jesus sending out the Twelve disciples, and we can almost hear the authority in his voice, the heaviness in his instruction. These 12 were, for the most part, uneducated commoners, a ragtag bunch of men, called out for a life they surely felt ill-prepared to handle.  

And yet Jesus sent them out with a paradox.  Perplexed, yes, I imagine they were.

Finding our Life... only to lose it?   Losing our Life...to find it? 

We see now in hindsight, Christ's redeeming plan... we understand through the prism of a cross, an empty tomb, a risen Savior.  But these Twelve?  The riddle must have been confounding...

It never occurred to me that we struggle with the paradox still today.

Searching in panic for treatments, cures, a way out of the pancreatic cancer nightmare.  We sought Life, wanted to protect what we held in our arms.

Our pastor asked a pointed question:

Do you seek to protect Life or pursue it?

Maybe there is a glimmer of truth breaking through...

The Passion translation speaks it plain:

"All who seek to live apart from me will lose it all.  But those who let go of their lives for my sake and surrender it all to me will discover true life!"

~ Matthew 10:39

There are two ways to view life, there are those who protect it, and those who pursue it.

On which camp do we stand?

Protecting life at all costs

or

Pursing it with abandon for His sake?

Mom chose well.  In choosing Christ, she was freed from the meaningless chase of  finding life to the satisfying walk of  living an Abundant Life.

Yes, she still sought treatment, and yes, still prayed for a cure, but was at peace with the truth that she could let go of this life, knowing full well that the riches of eternity far out-weighed anything we were trying to protect in the here and now.

For Christ's sake those who lose their lives will find it...

Abundant Treasure!

And that's Grace enough for this day,

Always,

      Jane