Learning to Make the Moments Matter

The Lake Place has a Foundation!

It's been a while since I've updated our progress at the lake place...

And that would be because Life at the Lake moves SLOW!!!!  Agonizingly slow!

We have bulldozed and cleared land, laid a driveway, drilled for water, dug a septic system and plugged into the sun... all the while dreaming of the day we could break ground for our log home.

Hallelujah!  That day is here!

(The dream might have given us a gray hair or two, just sayin')

To get you up to speed, here's a rundown of the last few months.  After choosing Satterwhite Log Homes as our builder we got busy working on log home plans...

and then got ourselves a Building Permit (or Development Certificate as it is called here in backwoods country!)...

and finally we were ready to break ground and get that foundation in!   I might have a few pics... (or twenty)...

Ready for concrete!!

Right about here the concrete guys gave me an old nail and said

"Time to sign it."

  I was unprepared for the moment... Should it be a handprint?  Just our initials?  Definitely the date... Maybe our favorite verse?  

And the concrete wasn't waiting!  So, here goes...

It's official... We have a foundation!

And the plan, per our concrete team, was to come back the following week to finish the porches and carport foundation.

That was the plan...

And then it rained.

And rained.

And rained some more. In Texas. In the summer.

Wrong. Very Wrong...

And then, just when we thought things were drying out, a tiny dark cloud formed over our place.  The radar shows that little dot of rain and mayhem popping up out of nowhere... it dumped an inch of rain before the weatherman even knew it was there!

What we learned about patience this summer could fill a book.

I might not want to mention that our concrete team took another (BIG) job in a drier locale and found themselves tied up until this week past.

Eventually, though, the plan seemed to come together 

( I may not want to mention that we got a wee-bit ugly with our concrete team,

truly, waiting 10 weeks to pour porches seemed a little excessive...)

From June 29th to September 11th...

Not exactly the timetable we planned,

but the foundation is in!

Sometimes (almost always) the dream is worth the wait!

If you are stuck in the rain and mayhem of the unexpected,

don't let it drown out the dream,

it really is worth all the hair-pulling, teeth-grinding, stomach-knotting moments...

Keep moving forward.  The sun is bound to come out sooner or later!

Now let's have us a log-raising!!

Land Hunt... Treasure Found!

Here's our current State of the Union Address...

It's been 6 months since we packed up the farm and said goodbye to dirt roads, goat baby snuggles and quiet walks in the woods.

We have been on an exciting, roller-coaster journey ever since... many have followed the Hunt through thick and thin!  Lots of places to see and explore, miles of roads to cover with an abundance of pros and cons to weigh... to be honest, there were days when I tearfully feared we had made a huge mistake.  I desparately longed for the safety of our tree-lined drive and wanted nothing more than to head back home...

 

Our lowest point of the hunt was back earlier this spring.  Despite a torn rotator cuff, we spent the day with our realtor and found a place that whispered home to our hearts.

 

It was the last stop of the day and we fell in love.

 

But our hopes were dashed when we found out that the cost of running electricity to the 11 acre property was "astronomical" putting it squarely out of our reach...

 

Sad.  De-railed.  Not sure of our next steps... It is when fear took hold and was, oh, so very hard to shake. 

 

Just what did we think we were doing?  Maybe, possibly, we had mis-judged?  Time to re-group and get torn rotator cuffs repaired...

 

God graciously re-filled our cups and the dream flared bright... with recuperation of torn tendons came hours to spend pouring over maps and listings.  We drove endlessly, enjoying the advent of spring and countless stops at small town Dairy Queens for Blizzard breaks... 

 

And we kept coming back to our 11 acre paradise to see if anyone else had bought it. We were like crazy, land stalker people... smile...

 

We just couldn't shake it.  Nothing else we saw could compare... And I think maybe God had a plan.

 

He just had to convince us to trust Him.

 

Amazingly enough, the 11 acres remained on the market despite a lot of activity. 

 

And so... Last month we made an offer.  A low offer.  And held our breath. 

 

It felt a bit like we were standing on the edge of the high dive... scared, nervous, excited... How many times did we ask, "God, are you sure?" 

 

He was sure.

 

The offer was accepted without even a counter...

 

 

It's Ours!

 

 

 

Back at home, down tree-lined dirt roads...

 

 

 

Quiet walks under the sun dappled oak canopy...

 

 

 

Meandering Brushy Creek borders the property, just begging

the kayakers and fishermen to come play...

 

 

 

Wildlife abundant...

 

 

 

The banks of beautiful Lake Texoma bordering our southern boundary...

 

We closed on the property this past week and are still pinching ourselves.  Truly?  Ours?  Thanksgiving pouring freely...

 

Silly grins on our faces, pouring over log cabin designs and planning future family gatherings...

 

Oh, and the electric?  Still don't have it.  Yep...  And water?  Not that either... We took the plunge off that high dive with abandon.

 

Seems that this farmer family doesn't do easy...

 

We do Adventure.

We do Glorious.

We do Crazy very, very well...

 

But, oh, the joy it brings to our very souls.

 

 

 

Throwing Gratitude Heavenward for all Good Gifts.

Trusting the Gift-Giver for each step of the Journey ahead...

 

Giddy with Grace,

           Jane  

 

 

When a Blog goes Silent...

In the blogger world, silence can mean many things... like maybe the blog-person has become lazy, or perhaps has lost internet service, or maybe just plain lost interest... nothing new to report, nothing worth blogging about...

But sometimes, a blog silence can mean the blog-person is wholly invested in the business of living life and can't even find a moment (or two) to sit down and tell you all...

... to just Simply tell you all that our Life has been Crazy Busy, filled with Amazing Changes and overflowing with Scary Blessings this past month...

I don't hardly know where to begin.  So many life-changing, down-on-your-knees, Lord-are-you-sure moments in the space between Thanksgiving and Christmas...

There's no organizing my thoughts or emotions, so, in no particular order, here's our current life status in snapshot-short synopsis:

Right before Thanksgiving our sweet daughter and her husband finished the work of becoming certified for the Foster-to Adopt program in Texas!

 

One week later they received a call for an emergency placement.  Just like that they became "parents" to brothers who had been severely burned in a house fire.  Precious babies, hurting and scared, Katie and Jordan dropped everything and took them in...they have been wrapped in love ever since. And Katie and Jordan's orderly life has taken on an absurdly hectic, heavenly buzz!  More on that journey in the weeks to come...

Just as we welcomed the boys around our Thanksgiving table, we received word that Leroy's father had taken a turn for the worse and was rushed to the hospital in Illinois.   Breathing difficulties, fevers and flu-like symptoms... a week of bed rest and compassionate care has seen him improve, but he remains weak...

And thru all this, the event that I struggle to even put into words...

We listed the farm for sale.

So many friends and family have given a collective gasp that we knew we had to explain...

that's where words fail me... for we love the farm... but have felt a pulling and prompting over the year past (and perhaps even longer) that it might be time.   Time to down-size... time to re-order priorites... time to follow God's soft nudging...

And so we called a realtor friend.  Held our breath as she sunk the For Sale sign deep into the ground at our gate.  Then prayed for an answer definite...  Lord please show us your way.  A resounding Yes it will sell.  A determined No you should stay...

God whispered Yes.  We had a contract within 3 weeks.  We closed the week before Christmas...

BitterSweet.  Words can't begin to capture our hearts tumult... but know that even thru the sadness of leaving the farm, is an overriding joy for the adventure ahead!

Do ya'll remember me talking about Dreams a while back?  Refresher... Mark Twain quote?!

Twenty years from now you will be more

disappointed by the things you didn't do

than by the ones you did do...

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover."

~ Mark Twain

 

Yes.  That post... sailing away from the safe harbor...

For the first time in a mess of blue moons, we are sailing away from our safe harbor.

It is an adventure.  It is scary.  It is exciting.  And it is our life...

 

Join us for the journey?

So much more to share in the weeks to come!

P.S.  The goats are safely stabled at our handsome Firefighter son and daughter-in-laws home.  As a matter of fact, Ms. Ruby graced them with their first baby just yesterday!

 

 

Happy New Year!

 

May you find in this New Year the strength to move forward,

tucking the past safely into your heart safe and

leaning into Dreams God has prepared just for you...

 

My Love Always,  Jane 

 

Thinking on Dreams lately...

All is well on the farm... no evil lurkers,, just happy goats and happier goat-herders.

Lazy summer days and peacefully quiet nights... which is the perfect farm recipe for Happy if you ask me!

And it also is the perfect farm recipe for dreaming.   Just letting the mind wander as the sprinkler taps a soothing rhythm on the backyard lawn and the hummers dance around the feeder...

I saw the quote on our calendar this month.  It has given me pause.  Beckoning.  Tempting.  Drawing out the deep and opening the heart to dream...

"Twenty years from now you will be more

disappointed by the things you didn't do

than by the ones you did do...

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore.  Dream.  Discover."

                                        ~ Mark Twain

 

What I think about when I read Mark Twain's words is the fact that Mom didn't have twenty years.  The day she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, her twenty years dwindled to one.  She knew, probably from the minute she was diagnosed, that she was terminal.  We, her family, didn't really grasp the finality of her cancer sentence for months...  We struggled and prayed and cried and pushed and pleaded... And if all the love in our hearts could have kept her here than she would be writing this post instead of me.  But cancer took that choice from us, from her.

 

And so...

 

This quote has needled my soul.   I hear mom whispering that not one of us is promised twenty more years, nor even our next breath... But (I can feel her smile) what if you are blessed with twenty more years?  What then?  Do you dare Dream?  Reach out to Discover the New and Unexplored? 

 

Sail away from the safe harbor...  Catch the trade winds in our sails...

 

It's scary.  But exhilirating too.  I think I will choose not to be disappointed twenty years from now.   Some dreams I can barely name, but others have been immediate... they've been there, down deep, just waiting for me to wake up in my safe harbor and turn my sails into the wind...

 

What dreams are filling your heart this very moment?  Just begging for attention?

 

It's true, I've been thinking on Dreams lately... Perhaps you would join me in the weeks ahead and open your heart and hands for whatever the Dream-Giver pours out.

 

It will be Blessing.

 

And Hope.

 

And Grace.  Always Grace,

 

Love Always, Jane

 

Regrets? There are 5...

Sometimes a thought just sticks in my head and won't go away... Really, it's not even a whole thought, just a single word...

And not one I want to think about... at all.

But can I forget it?  Nooooo....  It keeps coming up, like the bone Petie keeps burying.  And then digging up.  (And refusing to let go of...)

The point is, I've learned that when a thought (or a word) won't go away, then maybe it's time to hash it over.  Get it out.  Deal with it.  And put it to bed.  Make peace with the troublesome topic and move on. 

Right.  So, this is the thing.  Last week at Aunt Emily's memorial, my sweet cousin shared a simply perfect witness to her life.  I mean perfect, the stories, the smile, the love... all there.  Except.  He added that she always had had a few regrets...

Regrets...

He said, there were things she had wanted to do but never got around to.  Regrets...

Opportunities that slipped thru her fingers.  Regrets...

Choices she had made but wished she hadn't.  Regrets...

I cringed.  Wanted to shut out the word.  For who wants to hear about regrets when there is no time left for restoration?  No happily ever after?

The word rattled around in my soul after I got home.  It followed me to bed.  Crossed my mind during last Sunday's sermon. Interrupted my conversations with the goats, who were no help whatsoever...  And then it had the audacity to jump off the page of an article I was reading...

Regrets.

I stared at the word and finally let the walls down.  And felt the pain.  Tears spilled as I acknowledged the truth of the word.

Regrets... the disappointments, the sorrows, the grief for what might have been, and for what could have been avoided had different choices been made.

In my life.

In Aunt Emily's life.

In mom's life.

It's a truth I can't ignore.  In this life, we will all have regrets... disappointments, sorrows, laments.   Would that there was a way to eliminate these moments.  To find that Happily-Ever-After ending...

And do you know why this particular article had caught my eye?   It was in the title...

"Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed."

 

Seriously.  That was the title.  I wanted to know.  I had to know.  What are the top 5 regrets that people make on their deathbed? 

 

I was surprised at a few.  Nodded with understanding at others.  And overall, found myself strangely uplifted by the inspirational viewpoint of the author.

 

Might you indulge me while I share her story over the next few days?

 

The article was written by a palliative, or hospice, nurse, named Bronnie Ware.  She has spent many years tending to the needs of the dying, and has found a universal thread of emotions as people neared the end of their lives.  There was often denial, and there was fear, also anger and remorse.  But almost always the emotions evolved into acceptance.  She shares that every single patient she tended found peace before they departed.

 

When she asked about any regrets they had or anything that they would have done differently, she found that there were 5 common themes of regret among these terminally ill patients.

 

Today, let me share the first of these 5, it is the most common regret of all...

 

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

 

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.  Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.  It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way.  From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late.  Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it." 

 

Dreams gone unfulfilled... because we live the life others expect of us...

 

Perhaps this is true for many.  For others, the ones who have focused soley on attaining their dreams, they may find when they arrive that they are all alone. 

 

Seeking our dreams at the expense of others is the opposite of becoming enslaved to the expectations of family and/or peers and never breaking free to reach for our dreams.  It is a double-edged sword, is it not? 

 

I have found myself thinking of dreams...My dreams.  And I wonder, what dreams have I not nurtured?  Have I given up on?  What dreams have I experienced with gladness?  Found come wholly true?  If tomorrow I learned of my terminal diagnosis, what would I clearly see?

 

Will this be my most lamented regret?  Not having the courage to live a life true to myself?

 

If Aunt Emily could come back for just a moment and share her thoughts, I have no doubt it would be to refute the last line of the author's post... "From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late."  This is so not true!  Aunt Emily was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer over 3 years ago.  It had spread to her spine, honeycombing the bones.  She suffered numerous fractures and aggressive chemotherapy and radiation to ease the pain and arrest the development of the invading cancer cells.  During this time she successfully realized a dream and published not one, but 6 novels...  An amazing feat for any healthy person, but phenomenal for one struggling hard with all the physical and emotional turmoil of a terminal disease.

 

This is one of the stories my cousin shared.  As a family they could not be prouder of her successes, her dreams come true.  And yet, her regret was of not having done it sooner....  I pondered that thought and decided that perhaps she didn't realize herself what an inspiration she was to so many people.  Somehow I believe those novels were published right on time.  And I so wish I could tell her...no regrets...not for this one dream.  It is beautiful and right... a legacy lived out for her husband, her children and her grandchildren...

 

And...

 

It is not too late...

 

... to find the courage to live a life true to yourself.  What dreams lie beating within your heart?  Have they been long buried? Or are they bringing joy to your soul?  Have they been smothered by the demands of life?  Or are they your life?

 

What Dreams has the Grace Giver placed within you?  Dare to Live a Life True to the Calling...

 

It is never too late.

 

(to be continued...)

   

Follow your Heart...

 

 

 

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool

I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.

Because almost everything -- all external expectations,

all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure---these things

just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know

to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked.

There is no reason not to follow your heart".

                                                                ~Steve Jobs, Co-Founder of Apple, Inc 

                                                                               Lost his battle with pancreatic cancer, 2011.

                                   

 

Following our Hearts this weekend,

There is nothing to lose,

and only Love to gain...

 

    May you find such Grace as you Journey on,

My Love,

         Jane