Remembering Poppy

 It has been one year since I've heard his voice, or seen his smile...

The missing is always there,
the turn of a thought, the sight of that photo album of our last cruise together,

or the glimpse of his favorite iris blooming now in our front garden...

But then there are days.

Days when the remembering is especially poignant. 

These "anniversaries" are hard...

And each step is a part of this grief journey, I know that.

But oh, we miss the phone calls,

the traveling, the jokes, the stories,

the hugs, and boy, that smile.

What I would give for heaven's veil to part
for just a moment and see his face...

And I've decided that the remembering helps with the grief. Truly.

We have been loved so well and it serves us up a huge helping of joy to reminise over the years we have had with Dad.

Even his quirks made us smile today

and we just had to stop at his favorite Burger joint for a bite to eat ;-)

Comfort food for a day like today!
(And he was right, their fries are really the best, just sayin')

Oh, Dad, we miss you so...

We cherish the legacy you have left us.

We gladly become the Rememberers,

it is a gift to be yours.

My Love,
Always,

       Jane

An Empty Chair at the Table...

Thanksgiving... in the midst of grieving... a hard grace to find gratitude when our hearts feel such a keen loss.

We have worked on Thanksgiving menus right alongside the planning of Dad's Memorial service.

It would seem that there is no slowing down time, nor stopping the world's spinning... Thanksgiving came whether we wanted to celebrate or not... This morning dawned grey, cold and rainy... kind of matched our mood to be honest.

Dean and Lisa graciously offered up their lake place for the gathering and the house filled up fast.

It's a testament to this family that there were more smiles than tears today!  Poppy would have been proud... and eaten way too much turkey!

There is a healing in spending time together.  A deep gratitude for the love of family and the gift of sharing the heartache as well as the joy.

The smiles were genuine.  The peace settling sure and sweet.

A Thanksgiving without Poppy came too fast... the Empty Chair at our Thanksgiving table was a painful reminder of all we have lost this season.  And I know we are not alone.

A dear friend sent me the following Thanksgiving poem earlier today.  It makes the rounds on social media every year during this hallowed season, but this year it is especially poignant for us:

So many have lost loved ones and struggle hard with the missing and the grieving every single day.  Holidays can add a layer of hurt that compounds the pain a thousand-fold.

This simple prayer turns us back to the One who is able to comfort our hearts when nothing else can.

The Psalmist speaks it well and offers a hope to sustain our faith when our grief seems impossible to bear:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;

Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

                                      Psalm 27:13-14

God just smacked me upside the head and reminded me that He is here with us in the land of the living... just waiting to reveal His goodness.  Yes, even in the midst of the grieving and the loss... He has never left us.

The giving of Thanks begins when we open our eyes to every good gift from His hands.  And today was a very, very good gift.

My Love,

Always,

         Jane

The Hardest Goodbye...

Sometimes the words just won't come... We lost Dad a week ago, and still I cannot find ways to express the grief and the ache.

We have gathered together, held each other tight, and mourned... there is a void that will never be filled here this side of heaven.

And we have pulled out the old photos. Spent time pouring over the captured moments.  Laughing over old hairstyles and ancient memories.  Pictures of a life lived well.  Of Work and Sacrifice.  Laughter and Tears.  Of Family.  Of Grace... And most of all, pictures of an Abundant and Unmerited Love.  We have been so very, very Blessed...

David Michael Polly

September 15, 1935 - November 14, 2019

That smile...

I will miss it as long as I live.

Love you Dad,

Always and Forever.

Give Mom the biggest hug from all of us!

Making Wishes Come True...

He loves cruising.

He's been on more cruises than we can count!

And... he had one wish for his Birthday this year.   Can you guess where we've been??

A Big, Fun, Crazy-Happy Family Cruise.  And it has been a monumental task.  Getting Dad to Miami and on that Cruise ship.  It took a combined Family effort to make it happen... but happen it did!  And the smiles were the sweetest reward.

So, if you're wondering how one actually makes wishes come true?  Here's the scoop... It's a whole lot of sacrifice and a whole lot of work!!

The logistics of traveling with an elderly parent, who is dealing with end-stage COPD is one part daring and two parts just plain grit.

It helps that everyone in our family loves to travel.

Tropical ports of call?  Yes, please!

But as the reality of traveling with dad sunk in we all took a deep breath and asked the same question all of you are probably asking... were we crazy?

Insane does factor somewhere in there.

And it crossed my mind with increasing frequency as the trip got closer and the packing began...

The list was long and multiplied the stress and anxiety!  Nebulizers and inhalers, perscriptions and oxygen, extra batteries and his Bipap machine, wheelchairs and passports... plus clothes and shoes and... I was exhausted before we even left Dallas...lol!

Dad's doctors happily signed off on the trip and sent extra meds and had us fill a script for antibiotics (just in case they said...)

And then we arrived at the airport and hit the TSA line... this would be where the staying power of old-fashioned grit factored in!  It was ugly... enough said.

Once we finally got on that plane and buckled up, the smiles kicked in!

And they never stopped!

Making wishes come true simply blesses the giver and receiver alike!

The week melted into a gracious time of laughter and relaxing

and making memories...
worth every minute of the sweat, worry and grit that got us here!

 We cooked with the Chef at Emilio's Plantation on St. Maarten...

And toured the top of the Island...

Explored historic San Juan...

And braved the water slides!

Dad met the officers on the ship and pretty much loved every minute...

Including the Best Birthday Celebration!

His wish come true...

Simply the best!

Brought to you by good, old-fashioned determination and grit!

Sometimes we need to be Brave and Fierce in order to

Become the Gift!

Be Kind to Someone Today!
It makes all the difference in the world!

Blessings, Always,

                          Jane

An Autumn Celebration

And today the mercury topped 100... again!   It is September, right??!!

Have mercy!

Longing for some sweater wearing, bonfire snuggling, cider brewing weather...

Please remind me come January how much I love chilly days and nights ;-)

Persevering thru the heat, blessed with family and cupcakes to ring in a Birthday Celebration for Poppy...84 years young!

Happy Birthday Poppy!

You make us smile!!

We Love You! 

Weddings and Summers are Perfect Together!

What a wonderful week it was... getting away from this Texas heat to enjoy a family wedding in Wisconsin!!

So. Much. Fun.

I might have a picture... or two!

We flew up... as many of the family as could manage... to celebrate the wedding of our cousin's daughter.  Poppy was happy to be smack dab in the middle of it all...

And while we were there for wedding festivities we made the most of our time exploring dad's old boyhood haunts... Wisconsin does not disappoint!! 

There were Boat rides on the Chain O'Lakes...

Poppy spent his summers fishing and skiing on these very waters.

He was in his happy place reliving those long-ago days!

Dad's sister, Aunt Di and her daughter, our cousin, made the day perfect with their delightful commentary and sharing of favorite family stories!

Thank you Captain Clair for taking such good care of us!

"Maybe we should take a group selfie", I say...

Wait, I didn't make the cut... Let's try it again...

Well, now I lost the other half of the boat... One more time...

Yes!

Then we spent a day at the local zoo...

and watched my brother become one with the birds...

Which was fun, but the real fun began when we got to Aunt Di's place...

Just this summer, her farm garden was voted as 

The Prettiest Farm in Wisconsin

by "Our Wisconsin" magazine.

And I have pictures!  Because, well, it is really the Prettiest Farm in Wisconsin!

And we had a blast staying with her all week...

And then we had a farm garden photo shoot

with our favorite gardner in the whole world...

Poppy found a great place for afternoon naps on the back porch...

While Leroy and Aunt Di got down to the business

of mowing this little piece of paradise...

And then there was a Walleye Fish Fry with Poppy...

The week ended with a drive down back country roads

in Aunt Di's old convertible...

Bliss on wheels!

It all started with a Summer Wedding... 

and became the perfect vacation getaway!!

Memories for the heart!

Back in Texas... with mountains of laundry and just a bit of jet lag...

But what a great way to send out the summer of 2018!

Much Love,

     Jane