I need your tender reminders for appointments and meds and meals,
my mind has been somewhere else lately.
One of the things mom prided herself on (pre-cancer that is) was her ability to multi-task and stay organized. I guess it goes to reason, she was a cardiac care nurse in a crazy busy hospital for over 30 years...
... there was a lot of multi-tasking going on in a 12-hour shift!
So it came as quite a shock to not only mom, but to all of us when her memory got hazy and the bouts of forgetfulness hit.
We began to realize that the cost of this cancer was taking more than just a physical toll on mom, it was muffling her down in a subtle but relentless way that was almost more frightening than the cancer itself. There were many moments in this journey that we felt like we were losing the fight as mom struggled to recall what day it was, if she had taken her meds, or even who had just called to visit...
If you or a loved one is walking this cancer road, then perhaps you can relate. Many of the medical journals call this chemotherapy-induced cognitive impairment. We just call it
Chemo Brain.
It's real. And it's so very hard.
{ sigh }
No one ever said cancer was easy.
So... We learn to cope. We cry a little (or a lot). Then we get down to business and manage the moments.
For mom, it was a notebook and a pen.
She kept it with her everywhere. She wrote down meals, appointments, meds, visits, favorite songs, books she wanted to read, the day's date at the top of each page...
That notebook was her touch-stone in the middle of the scary and uncertain. It worked. And gave peace to the organizing, multi-tasking part of her that needed grounding.
I will always remember the day her agonized eyes met mine after bungling a doctor's appointment and she pleaded, "Don't let me forget."
The mishap was small, this one forgotten appointment easily remedied, but the unspoken plea was so much bigger. It was the names, the loves, the lives she needed to hold on to... this fear that lived in the dark and refused to be named.
A promise grew fierce in our hearts... and from that moment on, we walked the road of remembering together.
As we read on in mom's
Letter from the Battlefield it comes as no surprise that one of the greatest gifts we can offer each other is patience when the mind gets muddled, and tender reminders of all that is important.
That's the Hard Grace of Love in Action... and it's a Gift that returns the Blessing over and over again...
For His Grace is Rich Indeed,
Jane
