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Showing posts with label legacy making. Show all posts
Showing posts with label legacy making. Show all posts

Sunday, May 12, 2013

It Takes a Village...


Mother’s Day… My heart reaches for the voice and touch that has been gone too long… a longing that sighs deep and aches hard.  Does it get easier?  51 years of her mothering and it was not enough.  Not near enough.  Mom’s gift was infinite in scope, and her very presence is missed endlessly. 

And I’ve come to learned thru her example that it does indeed take a village… of super women moms… to raise a child. And I am so blessed that mom opened the door and invited some amazing women in to help mother me through the years.  She had an intuitive wisdom and confidence to know when she needed to step aside and let others take a hand in my raising and when she needed to take my hand to lead me straight. 

There is gratitude overwhelming for the way she loved me and shaped me and grew me.  And let’s face it, raising kids is a task of monstrous proportions.  If it’s not the terrible twos, it’s the last minute 5th grade science projects or the 8th grade dance dress that is all wrong or of course the tyranical teenage angst ad nauseum that would take pages and pages to recount (but let’s not, J it is still a somewhat touchy subject!)
No wonder we have Mother’s Day… and honestly, is one Day of Celebration really long enough?!

Looking back on my life, I see clearly the many, many women who loved me in tangent with mom and shaped me into who I am today:

There was Ruth, neighbor-friend, honorary aunt, who traded babysitting with mom, played a mean game of hopscotch, talked fluent Barbie-ese, read mountains of books and laughed joyously…

There was Grandma Inga and Aunt Di who planned glorious summer vacations for us on the dairy farm, building forts in the hayloft, teaching the art of handmilking and bottle-raising baby calves, taking endless picnics in the woods and throwing us on a tractor and caution to the wind…

There was Grandmother Meier, our city-grandma, who taught a love of history and travel and fine dining, taxi-riding and Chicago museums, and condo-living on the shores of Lake Michigan, letting tiny ones sit at her fancy table and eat peanut butter sandwiches off of her beautiful china, her smile echoing mom’s…

And Mrs. Ray, youth-leader wife-extraordinare, who listened to the woes of a broken teen-age heart so many times, pouring the grace of Christ into my life thru the years, preparing me for the stretching and growing pains as God grew me into a young woman ready for a grown-up love…

For Leroy’s mom, sweet Millie, mom-in-law with love, who opened her arms with exuberance to a dewy-eyed bride of 19, needing to learn so many things!  Like cat-fish frying and pickle-canning, summer gardening and days of Mississippi River fishing… Loud family reunions and happy times around an overflowing dinner table….

And when jobs took us 1,000 miles away from these mom-angels, with my babies barely knee-high, God planted me in the midst of the most precious mom-mentors.

Like Mrs. Buchmeyer, the children’s first grade teacher who encouraged me to try my hand at room-mothering and then proceeded to become mother indeed to both me and the kids, wearing their hand-made clay jewelry gifts with pride and stepping in as surrogate grandma for birthdays and scrapped knees and tooth-fairy escapades.

Or Michelle, pastor’s wife, ladies ministry leader taking me under her wing and lavishing love and laughter over me and my children with abandon…

And through it all, mom was the constant.  Always there, sometimes physically with hugs and in person, other times a phone call away, the sound of her voice all the connection I needed.

Somewhere along this mothering journey, she became my best friend, a confidante of the heart, my cheerleader and sounding board, understanding without words, sharing adventures and jokes, and lumps in our throats.

I have been given an extraordinary gift in my mom.  And I never understood it until I had children of my own.  When that downy head and tiny, precious baby mine was laid first in my arms, the love bonded tighter than sure.  I remember that powerful flow of ferocious love that beat loud for all to hear… this one is mine, I will protect and love and cherish always.

And I never wanted to let them out of my sight.  Not very practical, true… but this mama had control issues…smile. I have learned to loosen the strings little by little because really, we just can’t do it all.

It’s true!  Us moms.  We just can’t do it all.  For our kids.  All the time.  Always right.  (Sorry to disillusion you on Mother’s Day and all, but it’s true…honest…)

And the reason I know this is true is because Mom modeled it all my life.  She mothered us with gracious love and was able to step back and allow so many other incredible women to come alongside and share the load.  And now I am walking it out with my own kids and grand-girls…In the midst of a pack of amazing angel-women super moms.

I am beyond humbled by the gift of other women around me who I know will leave their mark, who will pick up where I leave off, and who will be the hands and feet of Christ to my kids, a gift I know I’ll never be able to repay.

And so on this Mother’s Day evening, my heart is full.    

Mom knows…

Saturday, November 24, 2012

How do you want to Live your Legacy?

Pancreatic cancer has a way of sharpening your focus, re-ordering your priorities and putting things into perspective...mom and I talked often about "her story"...she would be the first to remind us that we all have one.

A story...

From the minute we're born, our lives are telling a story.  But no one ever expects Cancer to interrupt that story.  It's wrong, it's rude, it doesn't fit...

And it didn't change, no matter how hard we denied, cried, and prayed...

Mom's pancreatic cancer added another chapter to her story.  For her it was the last chapter.  How do you ever write that chapter?

Cancer, especially terminal cancer, makes one think about the way we want our story to end...not something many of us like to think about...it just happens to be on my mind and heart more often as of late...

The questions have persisted as we've grappled with mom's story, her legacy.  For now I see more clearly than ever that my children are watching my life just as I watched and grew and blossomed under hers.

So I sometimes lay in bed, safe and protected in love's nest, eyes tracing the moon's trail, daring to ask...

What do I want my Legacy to be?  How have I shaped the people I love?  What will they remember of me?

How am I living my life?  This very day, this very moment...my Legacy is writing itself...will I like what people read?

How do I want to Live my Legacy?

                  nothing brilliant to post, sigh...
                                 ....still working on the answers, smile....

                                 But while I do, perhaps a video will speak to your heart...



Yes, I think I want to live like that....

Thank goodness for the Grace and Mercy of a Faithful God who delights in drawing joy out of my messy, complicated, 0h-I-want-to-live-like-that life...

                          Grace Falling Today,
                                               Jane

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Legacy-Living Mediterranean Style

 
That's mom in Venice in the Fall of 2008.  Just 2 short years before she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer...
 
Traveling with Dad was one of her favorite things.  And they traveled a lot!  England, France, Spain, Italy, Panama, Mexico, Hawaii, Alaska...and a hundred other places in-between.  I'm so glad she was able to live her dreams... No regrets.  And she didn't let cancer stop her either. Traveling with Cancer was not easy, but was perhaps the best medicine for her during that last year... 
 
She loved the adventure, the meeting of new friends, the sampling of a new culture, the chance to behold the world's majestic beauty.  It became another facet of her legacy.  The hunger to see places she'd only read about.  To see that for all our differences, we're really simply just the same.  And I love that about her.
 
I think she would be thrilled to know that Leroy and I are heading for the Mediterranean tomorrow morning.  Oh, so excited!  It is a trip of a lifetime for us.  And one we thought we'd wait for retirement to experience...
 
Mom's journey through pancreatic cancer taught us that we are never promised more than the breathe we just took.  Waiting for life to begin isn't living at all.  And so...
 
Tomorrow we set off on a 2-week adventure of our own.  Can you hear my heart pounding?!!
 
We're packed, have passports in hand, and our too giddy to sleep!
 
We leave Dallas tomorrow on a plane bound for Barcelona where we will board our beautiful, floating resort (a.k.a. cruise ship) and sail the beautiful Mediterranean...
 
We are legacy-living in her foot-steps, and I can't wait to visit the very places she adored.  Will hopefully be able to post pictures and updates along the journey...
 
So, Lord willing and the creek don't rise, we are on our way!
 
                                             Bon Voyage Blessings to you,
                                                                               Jane

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Legacy Making Habits

There is nothing that will shape your legacy more than your habits. Why? Because we are invariably the sum of the choices that we make in our life. And those choices are greatly influenced by our habits...good and bad.  Aristoltle probably said it best, "We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence is not an act...it's a habit."

I heard a speaker explain it this way:

"Here's a little test to understand the power of our habits. Cross your arms as you normally would, and look down to see which one is on top.  Invariably half of you will have your right arm on top (Leroy did) and the other half will have your left on top. (I did.)  When you crossed your arms for the very first time, you might have been still in your playpen, and you've been crossing your arms the same way ever since. Now, cross your arms again, but this time put the wrong arm on top. It feels extremely weird! If I were to challenge you to cross your arms the "wrong" way for the rest of your life, could you do it? Probably. Would it be difficult? You bet it would!"

Interesting, isn't it?  (Which arm did you have on top?)

Here's the point: Habits - good or bad - are difficult to break.  And we are what we repeatedly do...

Which I'm finding out is pretty accurate.  I wondered many times after mom passed away if our family would hold together.  Not because of any discord, or conflicts, but mainly because we all knew mom was the glue that held the family together.  She was the one who made sure everyone's birthday was remembered, she was the one who planned all the special events, she was the one who coerced all the teenagers to come (and have fun!), she was the one...

But, somehow, someway, we're doing it..  I like to think it's the Legacy-making Habit that she ingrained in all of us.  We are what we repeatedly do!  And we do like to get together and have fun.

So, tomorrow we're having a Family Fish Fry at my brothers.  Just because...

My mouth is watering already!  Leroy and I are in charge of the hush-puppies and the strawberry shortcake.  It will be stupendous!

And a new Family tradition will begin.  Mom would be delighted.  She left us the grand tradition of family, fun, food and fellowship, here, and here, and here!  The list is endless... Mom loved to bring us all together.  In this, the Legacy lives on...


...beliefs become our thoughts,
thoughts become our words,
words become our actions,
actions become our habits,
habits become our character,
character becomes our legacy…
 
                                                                                    ~Mahatma Gandhi


Praying your weekend is filled with Legacy-making Habits of the best kind!

Living on in Grace,  Jane

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Legacy Making



I love these old photographs.  Dad and I have been working on all those boxes from the attic!  And we have found precious pictures from the past.  I love, love these moments captured of mom and dad from their early years together.  The wedding, the babies (I'm the cute one in these pictures!)  These snippets of time frozen on film are the makings of a Family Legacy.

Mom left a beautiful Legacy for her family.  A life poured into the ones she loved.  And it gives me pause to think about the legacy that I'm leaving for my family.

Walking with mom through her Pancreatic Cancer Journey somehow distilled the priorites in my life. The small became inconsequential in the light of facing mom's last earthly days.  Leaving a Legacy.  I think about it alot.

What exactly is the Legacy I'm leaving behind for my family?  What will they remember?  What will they cherish?  What will they reject?  For whether I am doing things intentionally or unintentionally, my actions are leaving a path for the ones that follow. 

Legacy Making.  It's a deep subject.  Not sure I've really gotten it all ironed out, but there are a couple of things that lay heavy on my heart.  In the weeks to come I may be able to add to this list, for now it's a start. A way to intentionally lay a path for what's important in my life, to impress on the ones I love...

FAITH - It is the foundation for all that follows

FAMILY - Eternally connected, Make them a priority

SERVICE - People count, invest well

GRACE - At every turn, forgiveness, understanding and compassion

As I said, Legacy Making is a profound topic.  I am just beginning to scratch the surface of what it means. This I do know, our lives count to those around us.  Choosing to live out my faith, love my family, serve the comunity and give grace are some of the priorities I am challenging myself with.  

Intentionally Leaving a Legacy that will impart the things I value most to the ones I love best!

May this weekend be filled with all that's good and lead you down paths of Legacy Making of your own.  My Love, Jane