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Friday, October 4, 2013

Top Ten Grace Tips for the Caregiver

When mom and I started working on our website, The Pancreatic Cancer Journey, our main focus was to share mom's story...her journey with pancreatic cancer.  It was our prayer and our hope to encourage others with cancer, and maybe to take some of the fear out of the horribly complex world of cancer care and the equally horrendous treatments.

I know that the writing was solace for me...the many emails and notes you sent thru the weeks and months of her journey were balm to a heart sore.

After mom's passing, we all found ourselves in uncharted waters.  The grieving journey was/is a completely different animal than the cancer journey.  Our time of caring for mom was over, but my wayward emotions didn't get the memo... we were all a mess.  Holding it together barely, for each other and for her sake, but we were just a mess. 

We needed Grace...(we still do.)  And as the days roll into weeks and the months stretch long, there is truth that time gentles the ache.  It also allows the traveler to see where they've been and what Grace has done...

God hallows the heartache into joy somehow.  Humbled.  Grateful.  It is a gift from His Gracious Hand. 

And so it is that I can see now where He has worked the most in my life as a Caregiver for mom.  It is a rough list, but still a rendering of the things we have learned thru the Journey...

Our Top Ten Grace Tips for the Caregiver
 
1.  Be Willing... the Caregiver is truly a servant role.
 
2.  Be Flexible...expect Changes.
 
3.  Be a Planner... it helps relieve the Chaos.
 
4.  Be Teachable... it's all new.
 
5.  Be Patient... Be Gentle... with yourself and your loved one.
 
6.  Be Steadfast... when they feel like giving in, do not give up.
 
7.  Be Realistic... about the journey, about your abilities, about the future.
 
8.  Be Vulnerable... it's okay to feel the anguish, the grief of losing your footing
 
9.  Be Quiet... take a Grace Break, time away for just you.
 
10.  Be Proud... Give Yourself Credit, Not Guilt. 
 
 
For the many, many selfless servant hearts, laying down a ministry of love and care this night, my prayer is for Grace to flow abundantly over your life.  You are the hands and feet of the Almighty Himself.  What an honor, what a privilege to serve those you love.
 
I would hug each and every one of you if I could.  May you feel my Grace nod to you across the miles!
 
Love Always, Jane

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