Dead people and flowers...

Ok... so there's this quote by Anne Frank...

"Dead people receive more flowers than living ones

because regret is stronger than gratitude."

                                                  ~ Anne Frank

And it's true, perhaps.  But it rankles.  Because I read it on the day we took mom her Christmas Poinsettias...

at the beautiful Columbarium that she and dad picked out...

And we remembered her, like it was just today that we'd said good-bye...

... and how she loved Christmas and had decorated the house weeks and weeks early, like she knew she might not make it to see the celebration...

And we wept.

The heart cracking open to grieve fresh.  Because the missing was like a living thing... and we longed for her hug and to hear her voice and... we didn't want to be here, in this beautiful place, reaching out to touch the glass wall, remembering the day we took the picture of her smiling for the camera ... sitting quietly amidst the memories, while inside, our spirits wailed with hurt and grief.  And missing.

And yes, Anne Frank, we brought flowers.  Her favorite Christmas flowers.  Soft red poinsettias.  Not out of regret.

I realize that now... not regret, Anne Frank, but for the honoring of her.  Because they were her favorite flower for the Christmas season...

and it connects us somehow.  As she decorated her home during the yuletide with beauty while living, so we "decorate" her memory in death.  With gratitude.  So much gratitude... for how she lived life full of grace and joyful in love.   And how we reaped the blessings of her life...

Those blessings became her legacy for those of us living still.  Yes, the grieving will continue until the day we gather together again on heaven's shores... but for today, for this day, we choose to bring flowers and gather at the place where we can honor her memory...

...with gratitude.  And love.

I know for many there are regrets that weigh heavy.  Words not spoken in time.  Harsh words spoken in haste.

Visits not made, and relationships begging restoration.

We are not immune.  Regrets can haunt.  Especially during this hallowed time of year.  Yet there can be a choosing, an intentional turn towards gratitude.

An opening of our hearts, cracked with grief, to the possibility of Hope beyond the grave...

It is the beauty of this season, marked with Joy, written in Love...

"For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,

Mighty God, Everlasting Father,

Prince of Peace."

         ~ Isaiah 9:6

No matter the regrets, or hurts or pain we are journeying through...the Christ-Child Redeemer will be our Mighty God who is strong enough for all our weakness, our Wonderful Counselor in times of fear, the Everlasting Father who holds us when we fall, and the Prince of Peace for our hearts grieved sore.

So, yes...bring flowers!  With Gratitude.  And in so doing, pay honor to the memories of Love and the Blessings received...

Carried by the Grace of Thanksgiving and Remembering this night, Always,

                                                                 Jane

Same Team! Same Team!

There's a story about a dedicated, but harried T-Ball coach...

If you've ever been to a T-ball game you know the score, especially for the first few games of the year.  The tiny players have no clue.  When a batter hits the ball, he might run to third instead of first.  Or a lucky player may catch a ball, but then in the excitement of the catch, forget to throw it to first.

In this particular play, the coach watched with disbelief as a ball was hit and rolled past every player out to the fence. Several players began running after it, and in the process reached the ball at the same time and began fighting over it.  At his wit's end, the coach hollered from the side line, "Same team! Same team!"   The players spun and looked at him.  Then one gave up the struggle while the other threw the ball into second base.

That one-liner speaks volumes.  Not just for T-ball players, but for everyone playing in the game of life.

Same team!  Same team!

If one cancer patient decides on traditional medical treatment and another decides on alternative care, the bottom line is that we're all on the Same Team.

Striving to find wholeness and healing.

Judgemental opinions, devisive posturing, and critical ranting do nothing but hurt the cause.  We are, after all, on the Same Team...

Mom chose to walk the traditional treatment road using Gemzar as her mainstay treatment, but there are other chemos being used in this fight as well as surgeries and radiation therapies.  And then there are others that may choose a more holistic approach, alternative and natural.  We will talk more about these therapies too in the coming days.

I believe we can all learn from each other's experiences...it is the heart of this website... to share, to listen, to be encouraged, to hope, to learn... some where out there lies the cure for this abominable cancer.  What if the cure is found in alternative therapies?  What if the answer is in a yet to be tried chemotherapy?  Hanging on to the Hope that someone reading these words will be part of that Victory.  It matters little to me whether it be a pharmaceutical chemo drug or an all natural herbal remedy.  I will be shouting it from the rooftops!

Several years ago Elizabeth Edwards struggled and lost her fight with breast cancer.  In an early interview, she wisely noted that, "The strength to fight the cancer is inside each of us... each one chooses the course that is best for them."

Each cancer journey is truly unique, the nightmare part withstanding.  To those struggling with what's right, what course of treatment, or which direction to turn, remember that we are all pulling for your healing.  Find the course, the path that is right for you.  And never, never, let the critical opinions of others sway you.

May you always find strength in the fact that you are part of a much larger team.  A team that is fighting hard for a cure.   We are all on the Same Team!   One day soon, it will be the Winning Team!

Journeying on in Grace, Always,
                                          Jane