Mystery Keys and Piles of Ammo... The Surprising Journey of Grief

These last weeks have found us walking a wobbly path...

Grieving and Mourning often take hard turns, and to our surprise, during the heartache of losing Leroy's dad, we have had more than a few occasions to bubble up in hilarious laughter.   Is it only our family?!

Tears have spilled and visits to funeral homes have sat heavy, then... in the midst of family and shared meals and loud stories and babies messy, humor finds a crack and lightens our load.

Leroy's mom, Millie, made the decision to sell the family home within days of Don's passing.  It has been on her heart to do for ages... she is happy and content with their "apartment" in the nursing home and has no desire at all to move back home.  In typical Millie-fashion, she met her challenge head on, came to a decision and set her focus on the things that needed to get done.  And that list of things to get done was extensive to say the least...

Find an auctioneer for the estate.

Find a realtor for the house.

Begin the arduous task of sorting through years of precious keepsakes and other assorted oddities!

Yes, yes, many have asked, why have we waited so long to start cleaning and sorting thru the house?   Don and Millie have been in the nursing home for near a year...

It is true, but... here, reasonable logic bows to emotions deep and the heartbeat of love... Grandpa Don has struggled long and hard with letting go...   this has been their family home, for decades.  It is where family has gathered around to enjoy Thanksgiving Turkey and trimmings, celebrated Christmas joys, shared endless pots of coffee, said goodbye to loved ones, watched the babies play and grow up visiting Grandma and Grandpa, lived life, made memories... all within these four walls.

It is no less hard for us to pack up a lifetime of memories for them.   Even though the irony is not lost on us... Don no longer needs any of the treasures he stored and kept safe.  His treasure is safe in heaven.  How often we forget?  And hold on to meaningless treasure here on this side of Glory?  But that is perhaps a lesson for another day...

For these past days have been a blur of activity from dawn to long past dusk.

We have found an auctioneer... Love him to pieces already.  He gets the memories.  Knows these are family keepsakes.  He will be taking inventory of the house in the coming weeks for an auction later this fall.

And so, our friendly auctioneer gave us the job of removing all personal and private "treasures" from the house, unless we wanted them to go to auction, which, no, we don't... Enter an abundance of empty boxes and family worker-bees.

We ate donuts... made a plan... divided up... each took a room...

The Goal:  find and gather up all pictures, keepsakes and anything else Grandma might deem valuable (which meant bring it into the kitchen where Grandma sat comfortable and let her decide...this is where the plan de-railed regularly and the hilarious tripped us up often)

Within hours of implementing the plan, we realized the enormity of the task... The boxes could hardly contain the abundance of memories...

We started making piles in various rooms.

Old Photos and Pictures began to appear with alarming speed... in boxes and bags, found in dressers and desks, layered in frames and hidden in books.

 

 

Precious images, yellowed with age, a glimpse of our family from years long gone...

 

The genealogist in me just melted at this sudden connection to the past!

And of course, Grandma Millie reminisced with joy, hours flew by as we gathered to listen...

 

 

A favorite... Grandpa Don as a young man with his parents and sisters..

 

 

 

And Grandpa and Grandma courting...

 

Love...Love...Love these...

 

So easily distracted we were... but back to business... and we began to notice that there was loose change everywhere, along with keys that seemed to multiply like bunnies... in the china hutch, in cereal bowls, dumped in kitchen drawers and hanging from pegs in the utility room...

 

 

So many keys... we asked?  Grandma shrugged. 

 

One for the front door, one for the back... the car in the garage, the truck in the shop...

 

The others for doors long forgotten.  Important once, now a mystery, gathering dust in dark corners.  But we keep them anyway.  A story of our lives.  Keys to unlock gates along the journey... our homes, a diary, that first car, an office... keys to our heart... keys to our memory... keys that keep us safe... keys that bind us together... all marking the passage of time...

 

And the loose change?  It all went into the brown jug and those pennies and nickels and dimes filled fast, weighing heavy.  We all took bets, wrote our guesses down on slips of paper and at the bank we laughed at our lack of faith.   A grand total of $99.07.  Much more than our bravest guess... We stopped at the Steak n Shake to celebrate, Grandma ordering a Large Mocha Chocolate Shake.  It was the first time she had ever ordered a large...

 

The sorting continued as friends and family filtered in and out... Leroy and his brother found a stash of ammunition in a back bedroom and brought it out to add to the growing heaps scattered over the dining room table... later a sweet granddaughter rolled her eyes upon seeing the ammo and said only in our family would we have piles of photos, old keys and ammo mingled amongst the cookies and coffee...  We laughed, because, well, because, seriously, true... Who does that?

 

Ammo was safely stored, we polished off the cookies, smiled over coffee cups and knew somehow it would be alright...

Perhaps it is the gift Solomon offered in Ecclesiastes, his advice for this road we all travel...

"To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

 

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;

A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance..."

                    Eccl. 3:1-4

 

 

Sometimes we found ourselves weeping and laughing in the same breath... Grandpa Don would have been amused.

Keys to unlocking this hard, hard journey of grief...

The laughing easier when we're together.

Grandma and the grandkids...

 

Grandma and the family...

 

Grandma and her boys...

 

She does not journey alone...

 

For in everything there is a season,

God giving and taking and holding us close...

 

The Gift of Tears, The Grace of Laughter,

It's where we are tonight...

 

 

Our Loss... Heaven's Gain

He was a gentle man... a quiet man... mischievious at times... a family man... lover of God... a believer of the Word... solid as a rock... private and proud...

For 86 years he made his mark on this earth.

Mistakes made, a few.  Love given, generously.

A devoted husband.  Proud father.  Beloved grandfather.

Forever remembered.  Always Loved.

We lost a great man 2 weeks ago when Leroy's father lost his battle with metastatic prostate cancer.  It was not a sudden loss, but a hard one.  God granted the sweetest of graces in allowing us all to make it home in time for hugs and kisses and I love you's...

We have walked with him through the shadow valley to the point we laid his hand down and the angels gathered it up.  Grandpa Don now walks beyond the shadows into Light eternal.  For this, we rejoice.  For our loss, we grieve...

His was a life well lived.  Might you indulge my heart in some of our favorite photos? Precious memories frozen in time...

 

 

 

Donald Dean Schraceo
September 5, 1927 - July 24, 2014

 

Your love we hold deep in our hearts,

Your life, gratitude magnified that you poured it out over us,

Your memory, precious, forever keeps us smiling,

And Your faith lights the way,

True Salvation in Christ,

Joyful witness in you.

 

You will always, always be remembered.  Forever Loved... 

When Life Feels Like a Race...

Slow Down and Savor what Matters.

 

This poem.  A reminder to me that each day is a gift.

Slow the Moments and Savor the Journey...

 

 

"Have you ever watched Kids,

On a Merry-Go-Round?

Or listened to the rain,

Slapping on the Ground?

 

 

 

 

Ever followed a Butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the Sun into the fading night?

 

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance too fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

 

Do you run through each day,

On the fly?

When you ask: How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

 

 

 

 

When the day is done, Do you lie in your bed,

With the next hundred chores, Running through your head?

 

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance too fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

 

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

 

 

 

 

Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die,

Cause you never had time, To call and say Hi?

 

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

 

When you run so fast to get somewhere,

You miss half the fun of getting there.

 

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

 

 

 

 

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower.

Hear the music,

Before the song is over."

 

                   ~ Timothy Ferriss  

Our First Gathering at the Lake...

Raw. Primitive. And Hot. Very, very Hot.

But...

So. Much. Fun!!!

Our first gathering at the lake for the bravest in the family.  To be honest it was something of a logistical nightmare...no running water, no bathroom, no electricity.  Truly? And they came anyway???

Yes.  (heart smile)

 And we spent the entire day dreaming dreams, planning the perfect spot for a driveway, the shop and our cabin, wrestling thorny locust trees from said perfect spots, hiking the woods, tail-gate grilling, creekbank fishing...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A day for filling up

on the Goodness of Grace...

Happy 4th of July!

Praying your Independence Day has been

sweetly filled with the gifts of freedom...

 

 

This beautiful picture has been making the rounds on Facebook

and I just found it so perfectly fitting to share today...

 

Photo Credit to Earl Dibbles Jr for one of the most

gloriously patriotic sunsets I've ever seen.

 

Grace and Blessings,

My Love, Jane

 

 

Land Hunt... Treasure Found!

Here's our current State of the Union Address...

It's been 6 months since we packed up the farm and said goodbye to dirt roads, goat baby snuggles and quiet walks in the woods.

We have been on an exciting, roller-coaster journey ever since... many have followed the Hunt through thick and thin!  Lots of places to see and explore, miles of roads to cover with an abundance of pros and cons to weigh... to be honest, there were days when I tearfully feared we had made a huge mistake.  I desparately longed for the safety of our tree-lined drive and wanted nothing more than to head back home...

 

Our lowest point of the hunt was back earlier this spring.  Despite a torn rotator cuff, we spent the day with our realtor and found a place that whispered home to our hearts.

 

It was the last stop of the day and we fell in love.

 

But our hopes were dashed when we found out that the cost of running electricity to the 11 acre property was "astronomical" putting it squarely out of our reach...

 

Sad.  De-railed.  Not sure of our next steps... It is when fear took hold and was, oh, so very hard to shake. 

 

Just what did we think we were doing?  Maybe, possibly, we had mis-judged?  Time to re-group and get torn rotator cuffs repaired...

 

God graciously re-filled our cups and the dream flared bright... with recuperation of torn tendons came hours to spend pouring over maps and listings.  We drove endlessly, enjoying the advent of spring and countless stops at small town Dairy Queens for Blizzard breaks... 

 

And we kept coming back to our 11 acre paradise to see if anyone else had bought it. We were like crazy, land stalker people... smile...

 

We just couldn't shake it.  Nothing else we saw could compare... And I think maybe God had a plan.

 

He just had to convince us to trust Him.

 

Amazingly enough, the 11 acres remained on the market despite a lot of activity. 

 

And so... Last month we made an offer.  A low offer.  And held our breath. 

 

It felt a bit like we were standing on the edge of the high dive... scared, nervous, excited... How many times did we ask, "God, are you sure?" 

 

He was sure.

 

The offer was accepted without even a counter...

 

 

It's Ours!

 

 

 

Back at home, down tree-lined dirt roads...

 

 

 

Quiet walks under the sun dappled oak canopy...

 

 

 

Meandering Brushy Creek borders the property, just begging

the kayakers and fishermen to come play...

 

 

 

Wildlife abundant...

 

 

 

The banks of beautiful Lake Texoma bordering our southern boundary...

 

We closed on the property this past week and are still pinching ourselves.  Truly?  Ours?  Thanksgiving pouring freely...

 

Silly grins on our faces, pouring over log cabin designs and planning future family gatherings...

 

Oh, and the electric?  Still don't have it.  Yep...  And water?  Not that either... We took the plunge off that high dive with abandon.

 

Seems that this farmer family doesn't do easy...

 

We do Adventure.

We do Glorious.

We do Crazy very, very well...

 

But, oh, the joy it brings to our very souls.

 

 

 

Throwing Gratitude Heavenward for all Good Gifts.

Trusting the Gift-Giver for each step of the Journey ahead...

 

Giddy with Grace,

           Jane