C*vid finally made a house call, despite all our mask-wearing, social-distancing precautions...
Thankfully I am doing well now, but it knocked me down and out for the last few weeks. And just for the curious, mine was not a normal case (is there such a thing?) I truly thought I had a severe case of food poisoning!
I will spare you the details, but the gastric distress was immediate and abundant... within days I was in the ER dehydrated, unable to even keep water down. Not Fun! But there was no respiratory involvement, no shortness of breath, no high fever, no cough and no congestion... for this I am so thankful.
And even more thankful that my case was isolated. No one else in the family was affected. So, so thankful.
We were surrounded by the prayers of so many. Meals were brought and left on our truck's tailgate, uplifting texts and cards encouraged us, and one intrepid and loving daughter braved the quarantine and dove into the midst of the sickness to help and love us.
Beautiful words... Gentle Inspiration from Kay Warren:
"Father, What a beautiful day to remember and celebrate mothers.
We are in awe when we stop and think about the power women have to imprint the lives of the children placed in their care. What a privilege! What a responsibility!
God, thank you for the mothers you gave us. We’re thankful for the ways they shaped us in healthy, positive ways, and we forgive them for their mistakes. We choose to focus on the fact that you used them to create us and give us life.
Thank you for the embracing arms of the women who weren’t our mothers but who loved us like we were their own.
Be near to those longing to be a mom, those grieving the loss of a child, and those missing estranged children; we trust them and their future to you.
God, for those who are in the midst of mothering right now— give them courage to make hard decisions; give them tough skin so that they can resist the pressures of our culture to compromise godly values; give them physical energy and stamina to outlast even the busiest teenager; give them wisdom beyond their own ability to know when to listen and when to speak; give them faith to steer their children to a personal and vibrant faith in Jesus.
Please give all mothers joy in shaping the lives of their children, hope in their dark days, and above all, love that is willing to sacrifice.
We love you, Father! Amen"
Happy Mother's Day to each one, Trusting your day has been filled with tender mercies and sweet gifts to fill your heart.
His health has declined, the COPD has worsened, the heart has weakened. We have rallied around him, time and time again.
My brothers and I have worried, we have prayed, oh, how we have prayed, we have struggled, we have cried...
More and more the work of helping dad has fallen on me. His doctor visits, his weekly infusions, his errands... settling him in to the Assisted Living Center... listening to his frustrations...over and over again...
And the truth is... Dad is getting weaker, and more critical and more difficult to deal with week to week. He rails at the changes that fate (and pancreatic cancer) have brought to his life. Losing mom is a hurt that we can't heal...
We have learned that Pancreatic Cancer doesn't just affect the patient... the collateral damage we've all experienced has been brutal.
So many times we have whispered into the darkness, if only mom were still here.
If only she had been spared, she would be here loving him, caring for him... and he would be so content... the broken heart a grief he would never experience.
But we are now the caretakers and he is far from content.
Collateral Damage. We are walking through the minefield of a pancreatic cancer diagnosis and the aftermath of its vicious assault.
I love him utterly and my soul weeps over the changes we are all facing... the words fail me.
This weekend past we traveled north to visit family and while channel surfing the radio as the miles sped by, a song crackled to life that ministered truth... and amazingly it was a country music station... go figure!
Thank you Dierks Bentley... you may never have imagined your romantic ballad could speak to our hurting hearts and encourage this daughter to stay the course...
It's a long trip alone...
No one should ever have to travel this journey alone. Lyrics that turn the bitter to sweet...
So maybe you could walk with me awhile,
Maybe I could rest beneath your smile.
Everybody stumbles sometimes and needs a hand to hold,
'Cause it's a long trip alone."
Pancreatic cancer can leave scars, can tear the heart, but it can never sever the love.
I hear the echo of scripture for this journey...
"For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow;
but woe to him that is alone when he falleth,
and who hath not another to lift him up!"
~ Eclesiastes 4:10
Maybe we could walk together for awhile and lift each other up...
Resting beneath your smile
and reaching out a hand to hold as we travel this road.
Right here... in the middle of our 31 Day Challenge, we are hitting the Pause Button...
And taking Dad on a trip. The kind of trip that makes breathing easier and living richer. It has been a hard year and it's time to redeem those miserable, gray days!
We are boarding the Celebrity Summit today for a 7 day cruise in the Southern Caribbean...
Dad and his kids, together, celebrating life with all we've got!
It is his favorite thing to do... and we are planning on some legacy living out on the high seas :-)
Pictures and stories sure to come in the days ahead. And while we're taking a Pause on this 31 Day Challenge, there is so much still to share on The Truth About Cancer. We will be back in 7 days to finish up what we've begun... promise!
Sometimes a picture just gets caught in your brain. Like last night. This iconic image just popped into my head...and it wouldn't leave. So I'm sharing it with you...you're welcome.
Or it could have been the guacamole burger from Steak-n-Shake.
But I do know that mom really got it. The truth thing, not the guacamole... She just never said it quite like Jack Nicholson.
And the truth about cancer is that it's brutal. And ugly, and more difficult than just about anything we'll ever face this side of heaven. The truth? Truly, most people just really can't handle it.
And that can make a cancer journey the loneliest walk on this planet.
No one should have to do this alone. Ever.
So, as the scene with Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson replayed in my mind for the umpteenth time, I realized that there could be A Few Good Men (or Women) out there... Yes?
The kind of men (and women) that stand up for right, who hold the line for those in battle, and who put their brave on to walk this cancer road alongside us, no matter how hard the truth is.
And I know that if you're reading this, you are one of the Few... True?
Might I encourage you this night? If God has placed you on a path with a beloved cancer warrior, then He put you there for a reason... and He will equip you for the task at hand...your purpose is as easy as it is impossible... Love them with all your heart, no matter how brutal, or ugly or difficult the road.
Grace will overcome every heartache...it is the Promise.
You can so do this. I know you can handle the Truth.
Early on in Mom's pancreatic cancer journey, she became aware of the need to carefully measure her words and how much she could share depending on who she was with...
After a particularly stressful encounter with a friend over her cancer prognosis, she learned that not everyone wanted or needed to know the truth of her day to day journey...
...especially Sandy (name has been changed to protect friends who are hurting too)... Sandy was a dear neighbor who stopped by shortly after mom's first chemo treatment. Concerned and caring, she visited with mom about the cancer and asked how mom was feeling.
Mom explained a bit about the chemotherapy protocol, how she would have treatments once a week for 3 weeks and then have the 4th week off to recover before starting the rotation all over again.
Sandy innocently asked how long the treatment would last.
Mom bluntly stated she would be on chemo until she died.
The distress on Sandy's face would have been heart-breaking, if our hearts weren't already broken in two by the nightmare we were already living... At a loss for words, Sandy just burst into tears.
This, of course, made Mom feel even more lousy if that were possible. Still emotionally raw from her cancer diagnosis, she never imagined how Sandy would react, nor that she would have to put on a brave front before certain friends and family...
And that just stinks. At her most vulnerable, she was still having to think of others.
It was a hardship we knew she detested, but sheltering others from pain seemed to be a by-product of her "mom" gene. It's what she had always done.
And it seems that this is the way of our society...big sigh... It's just not polite to discuss things like cancer, illness, death or grief with casual acquaintances.
The ubiquitous "How are you?" is more rhetoric than sincere.
The proper response always, "Fine. And how are you?"
Would it be possible to move beyond such politeness and dig in deep with those suffering?
Could we look at them with the eyes of grace and hold steady while they unburden their pain?
Surely it is the call for each one of us who walks this road alongside the cancer warrior.
Ask if you dare,
but be ready for honest, for gritty, for heart-breaking, for messy...
then know that you have offered a deepest grace by helping carry the pain for the briefest of moments. In this you are offering the sweetest gift of love...
"Carry one another's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ, that is, the law of Christian love."
So, let's say the one you love is facing the fight of their lives...and you've paid attention and know they need our hands to hold them together as they battle cancer's overwhelming attacks.
You are also one smart cookie and know their immune system is fragile and they need loving respect for their space and health.
What to do? You long to be there, love on them fiercely, offer arms of strength and hold the line with them in this forever battle... BUT, that scratchy throat, runny nose, and hacking cough mean you are persona non-grata for the time being.
Enter our favorite idea of the year... Happy Mail!
This is so perfect for the win. Share a smile, communicate your love, but keep your germs safely quarantined from our cancer warrior.
So, Happy Mail... It is a Virtual Hug sent through the United States Postal Service.
There are many things (fun things) that you can send in the mail just as they are... like a beach ball, or a coconut or a rose in a bottle... no packaging required.
It's a quirky, fun trend that the postal service (mostly) embraces! Ha! And AmberLee at the GiversLog has perfected this fun practice.
1. Write the mailing address and return address on the same surface to avoid confusion over who is sending and who is receiving.
2. Mail that weighs 13 ounces or less qualifies for USPS's wonderful, inexpensive first-class parcel shipping rates.
3. You can take your mail to the post office desk to be metered or add stamps yourself and drop it in the mailbox. And yes you can mail things without a box!
For more of her fun, how-to instructions, check here. And for some great examples of the things you can send, check here! and here!
And Michelle Porucknik shares a fun list of 21 Things You'd Be Surprised You Can Mail. Who knew?!! This is such a fun, easy way to bring a smile to our cancer warrior's day!
If you are stumped for ways to show love outrageous when you can't be there, give Happy Mail a try. It is bound to lift your day just thinking of ways to brighten theirs!
