A Step of Faith...

Did you know that before Memorial Day was a day of remembering, there was another day, a way of honoring our fallen called Decoration Day?

The origins of our Memorial Day tradition only make the honoring more poignant...

Decoration Day began in the years following the Civil War which ended in the spring of 1865.  The death toll was unimaginable... claiming more lives than any conflict in United States history.  Families were torn apart.  The divide between the North and South a wound that ran deep.

As the war came to a close, Congress established the national cemetery system to lay our fallen soldiers to rest, both Union and Confederate.

In the years following the Civil War, people began holding rituals in the spring to lay flowers and pray over the graves in tribute to the many, many fallen soldiers.  Thus, Decoration Day became a way to remember the service of the brave and loved.

In 1868, General John A. Logan set aside the 30th of May "for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land."

Can you imagine the pain and visceral grief those families experienced as they laid flowers at the graves of husbands, sons, friends... and enemies... for the Union and Confederate soldiers often lay side by side in the cemeteries as nearby fields still bore the scars of the too recent battles, soaked in the blood that nearly tore our country in two.

It was a monumental step of faith to ask the people to decorate all the graves.  For the loved and for the enemy.

Some were brothers... Some were strangers.

But for the sake of unity.  For the enduring of a nation... the memorials were laid for all who fought.

It humbles me to think of the strength it took for those families to lay aside their deep hurt and choose to honor all the fallen.

Those steps of faith walk us through history.  Decoration Day became Memorial Day soon after World War I when as a nation we honored all our fallen, both those here and those on foreign soil.

And that faith can be a model to each of us.  When we choose to set aside our differences, our pain, our heartbreak and walk out love right where we are.  And not just this Memorial Day... it is a way of living life well and gifting Grace far and wide.

"We ought always to thank God for you,

brothers and sisters, and rightly so,

because your faith is growing more and more,

and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.

Therefore, among God's churches we boast about

your perseverance and faith

in all the persecutions and trials

you are enduring."

                           II Thess 1:3.4

Faith in who we are and whose we are... this Memorial Day I am reminded that the most holy of Love comes from a God who did not neglect to share it with us through the gift and sacrifice of Christ.

For surely, in Christ that love overflowed and covered this unworthy heart with an unmerited tenderness.  And it is in Christ that faith finds a foothold and the strength to persevere during the storms and sufferings of this life...

... giving us the strength to decorate the grave of our enemy and move forward in faith as forgiveness frees our wounded souls.

Graced to Remember this day,
In Love, Always,
Jane

We're all Just Passing Time...

Pancreatic cancer doesn't play favorites...

Men, Women... Too Young, Hardly Old Enough... Mothers, Fathers... Neighbors, Celebrities...

I have yet to meet a cancer warrior who hasn't fought with everything they had.

Our personal story with this cancer beast has forever changed our lives, and has left us fighting still, seeking treatments, encouragement, hope and most of all a cure  ...

We celebrate each victory and weep with each loss.

Today, pancreatic cancer stole another from our midst and hearts grieve...

Sir John Hurt

1940-2017

Known best, in our circles, for his role as Mr. Ollivander in the Harry Potter series, he was a prolific and well-known actor.

Diagnosed with early stage pancreatic cancer in June 2015, he battled hard, but the cancer battled harder... there is an ache for the family he leaves behind... for a wife, for 2 sons... his legacy will live on, but they will surely miss his presence with a fierceness that can wreck a heart.

Early on in his cancer journey, he was interviewed by Radio Times and shared some truth...

"I can't say I worry about mortality, but it's impossible to get to my age and not have a little contemplation of it.  We're all just passing time and occupy our chair very briefly."

Honoring a life, lifting a prayer, offering gratitude for this brief time we are given... Life is such a gift, determining not to squander even one moment...

Praying Grace over your days, Hope for the battles, and Peace to see the time passing before it's too late.

My Love, Always,

                         Jane

A Road Trip and a Remembering...

This week past we have enjoyed a beautiful road trip back home to Illinois.

For an early Mother's Day visit with the sweetest mother-in-law around...

and we ate...

and laughed...

and visited with family...

and time flew by much, much too fast!!

While we were there, we had the sweet privilege of attending

an unforgettable Tree Dedication with family and friends...

it was a time of remembering and honoring

a very special soldier.

10 years have passed in a blur of grief and questions for the family...

a decade of making peace

with the terrible sacrifice Caleb made so that we could breath free,

The day was filled with

sacred moments that brought healing and hope to many...

Marcy spoke from her heart to the hundreds gathered,

of the son she loved,

the young man who loved this country,

the hero he was to her and so many others...

There was an unveiling of a new memorial at the local High School baseball field where Caleb was a legend...

and welcoming many of his brothers in arms for an honoring

of gratitude for all they have given...

It was a day of remembering...

quiet moments at a graveside

an Army flyover,

tears spilling as the single wing dipped in honor...

and the dedicated Patriot Guard riders protecting the ceremony...

with such dignity and respect,

hearts stirred as their bikes streamed in,

the low rumble heard for miles as they led a solemn procession

to the graveside... 

It was a day of celebrating one amazing life...

with a mom and 2 brothers who carry on his legacy of love and laugher...

Caleb you are so very missed...

You will Always be Remembered...and Loved Deeply

While we may never have answers to the senseless tragedies in our lives,

there is a balm and a healing in the gathering together and remembering

of those we love.

... Marcy shared this note she received shortly after the ceremony...

"I am one of the wives of the guys who served with your son. Although I never had the pleasure of meeting Caleb, it was like I knew him my whole life after this weekend. The dedication healed an empty hole in my husband that has caused many sleepless nights for the last decade. Thank you for being part of that healing process. He slept the whole night through for the first time Saturday night. I am honored to have met you and the people who Caleb touched throughout his life".

Never, never underestimate the power of that healing when we find the grace to remember in love those we have lost....

Praying for your heart this day,

knowing the remembering can tear our souls with the missing and hurt,

but asking that Grace lift your grief and turn the ache into peace...

for there can be life-giving rest in honoring a memory.

My Love, Always,

                      Jane

I will not watch you die!

So, there's this movie... Sommersby.

And it's the kind that gets under your skin, and even though it was released years and years ago, it came back to me, like, yesterday, especially the cliff-hanging finale... hence the memorable, dramatic quote from the end of the movie above (my blog titles aren't usually quite so melodramatic, please excuse...)

But this movie...

It reeled me in with the mystery, the romance, the redemption... a beautiful tribute to the strength of the human spirit.  And once I was totally hooked?  The killer-twist of an ending... the pile of Kleenex at my feet was, well...

So, first of all, Spoiler Alert... I can't imagine anyone who hasn't already seen this classic, but, it could be... If that's you, then step away from your electronic device now... cause I just can't help it, we're going there.


To refresh our memories, here's the story:

Set in the aftermath of the Civil War, Jack Sommersby returns home after 6 years to find his plantation and home devastated by the ravages of war.

 

Jodie Foster plays his wife, Laurel.  And we find that their life together before had been a war in itself.

 

The Jack Sommersby she remembered was a hard man, abusive and mean.  The Jack who returned from war was a changed man.  Time away, perhaps the war had softened him and he is now a man passionate about restoring his marriage and town.  Everyone, including Laurel, are taken by his transformation... And this is the part of the movie that died-in-the-wool romantics simply love... ok, I was smitten, a hopeless romantic I am...

But then, the sinister music starts to play.  Nothing good ever happens when that music starts... 

Jack is arrested for killing a man somewhere in the past, and the local townsfolk begin to question the identity of this reformed Jack.  Could he be an imposter?  Laurel has fallen deeply in love with this man and staunchly defends his honor, but even she knows deep down that he is not the same man.

The past comes back to haunt, and the web of lies and deceit soon unravel.  Murder charges play out in court.  If this man is Jack Sommersby, he will hang.  If he is indeed an imposter, he faces the shame of his community and the loss of his land and marriage.

Love and Honor collide, forcing the heart to speak truth. 

Laurel begs him to confess and escape death.  Jack holds tightly to the love that has grown and believes that to honor that love is more important than life itself.

He refuses to confess that he is an imposter.  He is ordered to hang for his crime.

And this is where the crying began.  I just couldn't believe they would hang him... Seriously, wasn't some super hero on a white horse going to come in and rescue him at the last minute?  And then, happily ever after??

I kept waiting... the Kleenex pile growing... no white knight... no super hero...

Just a rope.  And a man.

The Judge gave Jack and Laurel one final moment together, and the agony in that conversation simply haunts...

Jack says, "...if I know you'll be there with me, I can do this thing right."

In anguish, Laurel replies, "Please don't ask that.  I can't.  I will not watch you die!"

They lead Jack off to the gallows and Laurel fades away into the crowd.

In panic, as they begin to drape a hood over his head, he calls for her.  The voice is raw.

Through tears that have swamped the last of the Kleenex, we see her turn back. Jack steadies himself with her presence...

And he is hung.

Who makes movies like that???  I was traumatized for days, well, years, really, because I just relived it all again tonight.

And yet, that movie got one thing right, well, maybe two...

There is incredible resilience and strength in the human spirit.

And Jack knew that if  "you'll be there with me, I can do this thing right."

We need each other.  During the joys of life as well as the heartaches.  And to be sure, this cancer journey is filled with more than it's share of heartache.

If you'll be there with me, I can do this thing right...

We have that promise to hold onto every step of this journey, for Grace has pledged

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

         ~ Matthew 28:20 

We can do this thing right.  Our rescue truly arrives in time... Always.

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New Christmas Traditions!

Tomorrow we set sail on another Family Cruise!

It seems to have become our New Family Christmas Tradition... a tradition we'd sure like to continue!

Each year since mom has passed, we gather Dad together and find our way to the sea to celebrate her life and find ways to reconnect as a family and embrace our new normal.

The first cruise without her was so very, very hard... But it led us back to places of pure grace and joy.  Mom loved cruising and visiting distant ports of call...

We felt her blessing keenly through-out the healing journey and vowed to continue the cruising tradition...

And so it was that the following year, mom's memorial cruise became a way to move forward thru the grief and truly it was a time to slow down and honor her memory in the most perfect way possible.

Tomorrow, we gather the whole family together at the Port of Houston and begin a week-long celebration that has us too excited to sleep!

And so it is Bon Voyage until next week... There will surely be pictures a'plenty to share... and stories too... Always!

Praying for Grace to meet you where you are.

Whether it's fighting the fight or embracing the cherished memories,

Pancreatic Cancer has a way of wreaking havoc with

treasured traditions.

Might you find your heart eased into this holiday season,

wrapped in the holiness of His Gift.

My Love Always,

                    Jane

Of Gatherings, and Grief, and Gratitude...

This past week Dad and I spent time traveling to the Midwest to say good-bye to a favored aunt...

 

We gathered together, family and friends, to honor a woman who has touched each of us deeply.  Her sweet spirit, contagious smile and generous love have poured freely from a life well-lived.  She will be so missed.  But I can't help but think how she would have found great joy in how her memorial transpired!

 

No stuffy funeral homes, nor elegant cathedrals... her husband and children planned a memorial perfectly fitting her life. 

 

We gathered on the banks of the Wabash River in the quaint, tiny town of her ancestors.  And there under a wide wash of blue sky and towering pine trees, we shared our memories...

 

Things she had taught us... stories of mishaps and laughter... remembrances of her battles... even of regrets... but more, jewels of resilience in her crowning achievement, a family raised up to love and cherish each other. 

 

Her son and daughter both spoke... there were tears and laughter, grieving and healing.  And then her 6 grandsons gathered round and read from her favorite bedtime story.  A story she read to them often, complete with sound effects and theatrics...

 

 

There were roses to lay on her grave and silence for a moment... Then a spring breeze whispered thru the pine trees and the boys began an impromptu game of chase, joy dancing in the air...

 

Aunt Emily would have loved it. 

 

Dad and I were so very grateful to be a part of this family gathering.  We celebrate her life, but mourn so deeply her passing.  It soothed the ache to be with each other.  Isn't that so often how it happens?  Grief and Gratitude, tied together inexplicably somehow.

 

We spent several days with the family exploring this charming town of cobblestone paths...

 

 

historic log cabins...

 

 

 

quaint cottages...

 

 

and peaceful parks...

 

 

 

 

 

We gathered for wild games of Wiffle Ball...

 

 

And hopped on Dad's rented golf cart for more adventures...

 

 

Like getting lost in the giant hedge maze...

 

 

And skipping stones across the sweeping Wabash...

 

 

 

Yes, Aunt Emily would have approved.

 

Dad and I were so very blessed to be a part...

 

   

365 Days...

... without Mom...

 

 

Hearts still grieve and emptiness waits to be filled...

 

Moment to moment Grace gives Peace, and I know she would smile to see her family honoring her memory in a tight circle of Love, shouldering each sorrow together and growing stronger for the journey... 

 

But how to walk through this 1st anniversary without her?   We have silently debated, each of us wrestling with memories of that final day, not wanting to relive the pain, but unable to stop the flood of emotions, raw and sharp...

 

In quiet moments with Dad we've tread the unfamiliar ground, hesitant and timid...how would you like to honor this day, honor her memory, her life?

 

It will be a cruise...

 

As the days have drawn closer to this 1st anniversary, Dad's sense of rightness and calm have pervaded.

 

A cruise it will be...

 

He had no desire to stay at home, reliving those horrific, heart-tearing days.  Rather, the place he wants to remember her is a place where they had found such delight and joy...on the sea, sun bright, wind caressing...

 

We leave today.

 

On Tuesday, December 4th, we will gather at the bow of the ship and in silence and with deep peace, we will allow our hearts to open to all the memories...

 

 

How I wish we could have just one more hour, one more minute together!

 

Praying for Grace to Guide the Memories,

Hallow the Moments,

and

Fill the Empty Holes of our Hearts.

 

For Love's Sake I know God Hears,

 

Steady and Sure in Grace,

                      Jane